Obsessed
by Nefarious Red
Summary: My love was for Jacob Black. Who had nourished me to a whole from the man who had left me broken; Edward Cullen. But, why after ten years, did his return seem to disrupt my life? I yearned for the things I knew were forbidden; things that Jacob could never give to me. But, at what price would it bid? (A/U, Recommended 18 and older)
1. Chapter 1: Breaking Chains

_Chapter 1_

_Broken Chains_

_June 20th, 2015_

The first gray hair.

The real first gray hair.

I couldn't contain my laughter.

Jacob's unwavering face puckers a snotty look as he glared at me from the mirror in front of us; one that only made me giggle some more. My fingers gently tug it out with no effort, wagging it in between his eyes, before it was yanked clean out from my hold. Fucker, I curse to myself. As I roll my eyes, dropping the cheap, thin comb to the ground, I hear Jacob let out a groan.

"You can't complain forever," I tease, curling my nose in direction. I walk around from behind him, leaning onto the wall nearest to the mirror as I point towards the hair.

He grumbles, still holding the thin, curled hair from his head, directly in front of his eyes - almost as if he stared hard enough, it would change color. My lips curl into a small smile as I watch him.

"You can't stay like this all day, ya know?"

"I can try."

Jacob's teeth-baring grin always seemed to reassure me that everything would be alright. At least, in the end. I stifle a chuckle, rolling my eyes before I feel his warm hands curl around my jaw. "Bella," He murmured, shaking his head until I felt his lips moving down the curve of my eyebrow. His hands met at the small of my waist, pulling me into his soft embrace. "You alright with a little gray in your life now?" He teases, his hands breaking apart as they run down the curves of my body, meeting my lower back side.

I turn my face to his lips, allowing the warm, velvet-y lips meet mine. I flutter my eyes to him, which causes a murmur of a chuckle to guide across my bottom lip.

These moments were unforgotten, dancing to the usual beats that we so easily moved to. His hips pressed against me, and mimicking every familiar kiss as his hands caressed me. It was good this way; never scared, never worried. It was all I could fathom, I suppose.

"You seem to forget who you are sometimes, " He whispers to me, his hands working their way beneath the hem of shirt. "Should.. I remind you?" Tauntingly, he pulls back but only arms' distance - He knew he could stay that far with his need whirling. I roll my eyes, every time. I follow him slowly as he backed himself to the bed, before his knees buckle to the edge of the bed. My knees curled beside him as I maneuvered into his lip, stradling myself there as my hands place themselves on his shoulders.

"Well, you only say the same thing every time - I wonder whats' in store this time." I joke, twisting my hips from side to side as I giggle into the crevice of his neckline. I could feel the need to bite the air, piercing the identity of the shy girl that cloaked my body. His hands always brought a very excited me out. He moans against my face, his eager hands take advantage of my position and tug at my shirt.

"Baby, you make this all the while more difficult for me wearing these things." Groaning and huffing like a child whose lollipop was taken away - I giggle. "Oh, you mean these? These are called clo-the-ssss" I tease, lifting my t-shirt above my head and throwing it to the ground. "I don't think I need them right now, anyway."

Knock,

Knock,

knock.

My eyes perk to the sound of the rap at the door, my breast heaving as I look up from my husband's neck. My mind blurbed together whom it could be. I could feel Jacob's hand skimming down my body, urging me to return back to my hovering position. I sat up, looking down at my all-too-needy husband below me. Extracting myself from his lap, I slowly begin across the room, then peak between the crevices of the curtain's ending point.

Carlisle.

My fingers tap aggressively along the top of my thigh, curling my head towards Jacob, whose eyebrows were rose with anticipation. "It's Carlisle Cullen," I reassured - but, he never came without notice. Which made me just a little anxious.

I think.

Jacob gave me a look - A look that I hadn't seen in a while. He knew that the Cullens wouldn't make the trip for the sake of an 'hello'. Jacob brushed his shirt down, marching out of the bedroom before I could halt him. Yanking my t-shirt from the floor, I pulled it on as I raced down the hall to find Jacob. Seeing Jacob and Carlisle standing feet apart in our small living room, it made a whistling breath sweep into my lungs. His yellow eyes met with mine, a warm smile gleaming over his lips.

"Bella, how are you?" It had been a while since we had heard from Carlisle; with Esme and him traveling Europe currently - Their contact had been limited. Speaking of the devil, Esme appeared at his side with the same melting smile. My heart pounced with anticipation, leeching myself onto Jacob's bicep as I curled like a frightened deer around him.

"I'm fine - How are you guys?"

Seeing them made my head spin. It was just a reminder that there was nothing else to look back at. Or, nothing that I want to look back at.

"We… bring news," Carlisle begins, settling onto one of our lounge chairs. I could feel Esme's presence as she shifted through my living room, making her own personal movements to my furniture and decor .My taste wasn't the greatest, at least she could make due with the materials at hand. My eyes stay low, trying to avoid Carlisle's. I hadn't heard anything since before they left for Europe. Jacob and I hadn't talked about it, we try not to. Or, well, he tries not to.

"And?" I interrupt, stepping forward as I urge myself to keep my tongue from flying. I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear what would tumble from his lips - the reality of the size of things wasn't real yet, not yet. I could feel Jacob's eyes on me - Holding back a scoff. I already knew the argument that would assume itself tonight; You still care for that blood-sucker?

"The details aren't in stone, only whispers among the road. They know what they want, and they know how they are going to get it."

"How do you mean?' My brows furrow, my lip trembling from between my teeth as I wobble it back and forth. I had been at a loss for the situation for 5 years. 5 years I pondered, and moved on, and came back. 5 years I was married, with the need for a child, and yet - He still crossed my mind.

Edward.

Carlisle's eyes met with Esmes, almost as if to reassure that his words were to be spoken. As if, they would break me. He left out a mildly relieving sigh, his smile returning to his face. Dragging his bright eyes from the ground to me; who had ended up toe-to-toe with the coffee table separating Carlisle and I, my eyes full and wanderous.

"He's coming home."

There was a break of silence, the soft ticking of clocks and the rumble of our heater the only noises to be heard. Jacob stepped forward, grabbing my arm. "So?"

Jacob's words were like knives to my chest, but what did I expect? This day was doomed to come. I turn to look at Jacob, who's brown eyes glossed over with frustration.

"Bella and I, had an arranged deal." Carlisle states, my eyes never leaving Jacob's - But, Jacob's left mine. He drops my arm and stands beside, frowning down at Carlisle.

"What kind of deal?" Jacob's words damn near hiss out from his teeth. I could feel his anger radiating off him, even after all this time. It was the awareness of vampires - Something, he had experienced in 3 years. It seemed so long, but the time had flown before we had registered it. I sigh, defeated as I realized there was no way to control Jacob's outburst, and no way to stop Carlisle for making me return the favor from many years ago.

"Some time ago, we exchanged a deal. I, would assure protection over you two, in exchange for a one-time favor. No matter the request."

"So, whats' the request?" Jacob narrowed his eyebrows, his fist clenching his side despite my coaxing hand, and my soft whispers off 'relax', 'breathe', and just the call of his name. Carlisle glances back at me now, standing back to his feet and walking around the coffee table.

I knew the request before Carlisle said anything. I knew the deal was established for this request;

"I need you to come with me to greet Edward."

"Are you fucking joking?" A snarl erupted from Jacob, who pushed himself between Carlisle and I. I step back, taking a deep breath as I hold my tongue. Jacob's vows to me promised security over me - and a long time ago, he stated he couldn't protect me with them around.

And even after all these years, he still had a rock in a hard place with me and them.

"Jacob," Carlisle's voice softens, folding his hands over one another as he watched Jacob, slowly but surely to assure no bursts. He knew what damage that would do, for all of us. "This isn't a request for her to fly back to us, or to be with Edward. But, Edward is… different. I hope to ring true to the man he once was by… Reintroducing the past."

No matter how long I held my breath, I still came gasping for air. Submerged, and under tons of pressure. Carlisle and Jacob's voices faded, in the midst of their argument I reached for… for…. Air. I could feel my chest heave as my eyes passed darkness and all the in between. Oh, I wondered if his voice had changed. If his touch, had changed. No, you don't. I corrected, shaking my head self-consciously.

What would he think of me now? 29. I still, moderately the same, as he remembered? Age had begun it wear on my body, with stretch marks and wrinkles. I wonder how he thought of me, now. Older and wiser. Older, and forgetful of the past. Older, and-

Still thinking of him.

I lacked the capacity to understand what remeeting Edward would be like. I lacked a reason to not go. I was hoping someone would draw a line through the points, and which I needed to meet. Which to go to, and which to deny. But right now, it seemed as misguided as a lost hiker. I was lost for ideas, and words. The last time I saw Edward, was when he abandoned me in the woods, all those years ago. Yet, even after all this time, I still felt a glimpse of forgiveness. For… Something I hadn't felt in a long time.

Things that couldn't be fixed, forgiven, or even remembered began to flood my mind, a cascade of emotions skimming down the length of my body, goosebumps arising at every thought. The clock was ticking, a solemn reminder of the fact that time couldn't be replaced, lost, or turned back. God, someone shut up that damn clock.

My eyes meet back with Carlisle's, a guiding hand reaching out for an answer. I could feel the voices fade back into my ears, Jacob's breath echoing in my ears as I listened to the patter of his feet as he walked away.

I hated that sound.

I hated a lot of things, I suppose.

I hated this decision.

I lean forward to grasp Carlisle's hand, a breaking gasp of relief from Esme's lips as she scurries across the room. Their eyes met briefly, but I had just almost missed it. I was curious to know their thoughts, their knowledge. My mind raced with scarcity of knowledge - was the coven still intact? Where was Edward, and who had he become? Would…. He still be the man I had remembered?

Jacob fell into the back of my mind, for just a moment.

I hope.

Carlisle's smile faded, but left a faint curl at the end of his lips to mimic one. He knew what I knew; the hopelessness, yet - the sense of hope being present. Despite all of these years, my heart held on to him ina way my body didn't understand. My love was for Jacob. My love lied in our future, our plans. And here I was, neglecting it. My plans now involved a version of Edward that I'm sure no longer existed - clinging to the man I had met originally.

I hoped that he still had held on to me.

Just, a little.

"When is he returning?" I ask, sitting on the corner loveseat with Carlisle, my hands never moving from his. I never truly understood the 'situation'. What had happened or why whatever happened, happened. These details, as Jacob put it, were erased for my protection. The Cullens' had left Forks 8 years ago, with a small favor to be had for the both of us. Protection, in return that when the time came, I'd be ready to be there for them.

For Edward.

Carlisle glances toward Esme, who sat on the edge of my coffee table, her soothing, cool fingers placing on my forearm. "He says he'll be here by tomorrow - We're hoping you can be there for that, at least." Her sweet voice spoke with an everlasting grace, one I had and will always remember. I smile, but allow the information to soak. Tomorrow, I thought, my inner self damn near plummeting to the ground - Or, jumping with enthusiasm.

Best not to clarify.

"Excuse me for being so rude but, you two never told me what happened to him. Or where he is coming from. I feel like it's only fair if I was granted the same information as everyone else." My tongue curls back into my mouth as I tumble the words out, a reluctant crab fleeting back to its cave. It was too late now - But, I deserve to know. I deserved to know where he had gone after he disappeared. What hell he drug us all through. Why, after all these years, he was coming back.

There was a look that the couple briefly exchanged, a reluctant sigh before they both nodded in a union'd agreement. I silently wished Jacob and I shared such a connection. Even with years of love and trust, we were still best friends at heart. Just, married. It was a love that had grown from childhood to now. No years of finding out who they were, because you already knew. I liked it this way, but I'd care for a moment when those things showed more predominantly.

"When Edward had left those years ago, he was lost. He… wandered the world, frankly, looking for something to latch to, to fall into… I remember when I told Edward, about your moving on, It changed him, significantly. He was happy - Grateful that you had successfully moved past the time of you two. But, Edward, I don't think, ever made it past. He only shifted lower than who he was before you. There was less light and love to Edward." Pausing, his eyes fell to Esme, who had turned away with a grimace. I knew her love for Edward as her son, and I knew these details must've hurt her harder than they would hurt me.

"Shortly after I relayed the info, I heard that he had… Gone to Volterra."

"Volterra?" The name rang some erie significance, but none that I could pick from the tip of my tongue. Furrowing my brows, I shook my head some. "What is that?"

"Volterra is the home to the Volturi. A powerful clan of… Vampire royalty, I suppose."

That's when it resided in my and jetted from my stomach to my throat, holding a massive ball as I gasped. He had joined them, the people whom he despised the most. Just speaking of them brought a chill to my spine, causing me to pull away from Carlisle's grasp.

"Why?" Breathingly, I utter out almost a cry. I allowed my head to ponder, race across different images of Edward; but none could see him in a dark cloak and-

And red eyes.

"He felt he had no use for this world, but they offered that to him. We… Assume there had been other factors involved but - He know he wasn't ordered to go there, we just know that it had happened."

The silence returned. No words spoken as everyone seemed to feel the same as I - the image was revolting, almost. Beautiful, but with… anger. Frustration. Years of neglect and loss of love. My heart ached for him.

"He's… decided to leave them. Of course, Aro won't allow it to be so easily done but - He is allowing Edward to step down from his place in the Guard to visit us, for a change."

The Guard. Of course Edward held a high place amongst them, it would only make sense with his gift. But even then, even still, my heart couldn't comprehend the idea of Edward being within them. The man I had known, wasn't apart of existence any more.

I nod slowly along with Carlisle's words, working into a small daze as they begin to blurb together and form a hum sound of static. Who was the man that I would meet tomorrow?

Would he love me the same or,

Lunge for my throat?

* * *

The smell of the grill firing brought me back to reality, the whooping and children's laughter as I sat up from the sunchair. Things were easy here, in La Push. The people showered everyone in warmth and kindness, my presence no longer warded angry spirits or awkward glares - Only smiles. It allowed me to forget about him, and the task as hand tomorrow.

"Want one?" Jacob's gruff voice inquires, sitting on the edge of the chair as he presented me with a strawberry wine cooler. A peace offering. I had been with Jake long enough to know that this was his way of apologizing, or at least the start of it. I smile, taking the bottle from his hand and twisting the cap off. "Thanks," Mumbling as I take a sip from it, gazing down into the deep, brown orbs that started back down to me.

"I'm sorry for-"

"It is okay," I reassured before his sentence could be finished. "Forget about it, I just want to relax now."

Jacob's smile grew in a wide grin, leaning forward and placing a peck on the cheek. Warm, soft, and ever so gentle. My sun. I closed my eyes as he laid his head against my cheek, awkwardly hovering over me, though I don't think we cared.

"So, is my brother never gonna give me a hug?" I heard the sound of Rachael's voice exclaim from beside us, my eyes fluttering open as they adjust to the light, and Jacob perking right up to tackle his sister into a gruff hug. I smile at the sight, Jacob was ever-so passionate about his family. The family he wanted to create with me. The family that was him and I. I could never deny Jake his ability to be a fantastic father, but the timing was never right. But, now, I had no excuses any further. Jacob knew the conditions were met; a home, a career he could stick with, and stability.

We had just reached the last condition.

I knew the conversation would arise soon, I could see the look in his eyes when Rachael's son and daughter were to run across the lawn, screaming "Uncle Jakey!" with so much delight - I knew he wanted that feeling for the rest of his life.

Children had never truly crossed my mind.

Whilst a child would be something I could do for Jacob, I thought of the happiness between the two of us. My happiness with Jacob never fit the image of me, dressed in maternity clothing with a ever-so-big belly. I couldn't grasp the concept of birthing his child. Sure, I've thought of the idea. Quite frankly, many times I have. I've dreamt of a sweet, brown eyed baby boy with Jacob's features. One whom Jacob would cherish for the rest of his life.

I always had second thoughts, though.

"Bella!" Rachael exclaimed as she bends down for a hug, her voice drawing me from my thoughts of children. Perhaps for the better. I threw a single arm around her shoulders, giving a dainty smile as it spread across my lips.

"How've been?"

"Oh- Junior and Savanna are going through the terrible toddler years, and I swear there is a battery keeping me going - And it needs to be replaced very soon." Rachael howled out a laugh, shaking her head as we watched Jacob play with her children.

"They don't look like they're that bad."

"That's only because of Jake - Speaking of which…." She nudges me gently, "When are you two gonna bless us with some?"

I roll my eyes, a faint blush appearing over my cheeks. I could feel my whole body flush with heat. This was ridiculous! I thought to myself, shaking my head to try and coax away the all too obvious blush. "I don't think Jake and I are quite ready."

"Or do you mean, you're not ready?"

Rachael's question caught me off guard, I scoff as to brush it off. "No, no we are - I mean, I am. I just… Haven't found the right time to… ya know.."

"What, fuck my brother?" Rachael quirks a brow and my blush returns, reddening my entire face as I coil back into my chair and take a mighty swig of my cooler. "Rach," I scold, who began to laugh once more at my embarrassment.

In all honesty, I truly wasn't sure what was delaying my having a child with Jake. He was the right man to do so. We were old enough for said decision, yet young enough to keep up with it. My parents seeped into my mind; Renee asked for a grandchild every phone call, and while Charlie didn't explicitly state it - it was always implied by Sue, his newly wedded wife. I was happy for my dad, he had been alone for too long, now, I could happily say he is happy. In love, retired, and living his best life with a tall boy at hand.

I hadn't seen Renee very often, she had came up last fall for Thanksgiving at our new home but that was the first time in years. I knew she loved Florida, and overall just hated Forks. But, I could never leave. I was too drawn here after moving here ten years ago. She always says the east coast is stunning, and unlike anything in the west. She says the mountains roll and the ocean is ripe with fish for eating.

I tried to move past the talk of children by slumping out of the chair and quickly excusing myself away from Rachael. This was a big piece of conversation each gathering now - When will the kids come. I knew Jacob's family took pride in breeding, whether that be wolves or just kids. I tried to not think of giving birth to a wolf, I hoped to have a normal, healthy baby.

Maybe.

"Bells!"

Turning from the hot plates of burgers and hot dogs, I find my gray haired father walking towards me with Sue on his side and beer, already in his hand. I smile, walking towards him. It was nice knowing he was more involved here - More closer to the family. Afterall, being with Sue lead to the pack's secret slipping to her new husband. Charlie… was mildly fazed. Similar to my own reaction, he eventually just learned to cope and grow.

"Hey dad," He slung his arm around me and pulled me into a hug, leaning his bearded face against my bare one. "How've you been kiddo?"

I shrug as I gesture to the food behind me for him and Sue to grab a bite, whom both gladly reach for plates and fill them to the brim. "Not much, just been trying to decide where my middle-life crisis is gonna take me." Jokingly, I elbow him in his side as I put a plain cheeseburger on my own plate. I could feel Charlie's eye roll, followed by the soft snicker that he would share with Sue. They were made for one another.

"Popa Charlie!" Jake's bursting laughter as he came behind us, grabbing my father and I by our shoulders for a gentle grasp. "How've you been?" He asks, relaxing his hand from my shoulder and squeezing himself between us. As their conversation began, I tried to disappear to the front of the house. We had bought our first home last summer. It was just at the edge of La Push, hidden between trees and across the river. Jacob called it a perfect haven due to its' undisclosed location - That being said, it wasn't exactly anyone's land until we bought it, and 5 acres surrounding it.

Due to Jacob's ties with the reservation, our house payments were moderately fair, and one I could easily accept. Money wasn't an issue for us after Jacob founded his new company five years ago, Black Construction. Jacob had founded it shortly after quitting his job for a Portland based site a few years ago, tired of the drive and the people, he dedicated himself to making such companies available in the Forks and La Push area. He was great for it, and being the only big construction in Forks - He caters to the entire area, and then some.

Even then, this house lacked the luster of Billy's ranch or Charlie's. It held a far too contemporary look, stuck out like a nail in the wall - despite it being 'secluded and reserved'. But, Jake loved it. He built it from the ground up, and the only exception was the landscaping. He wasn't the greenest thumb in all of Washington state, to put it in words.

As I swept myself onto an iron bench, nestled between a couple of trees, I gazed upon our nail in the wall. The memories that had seemed to develop here. It was his gift to me on our wedding day; a new home. A new place for us to start our lives, a project that he had kept hidden for months.

Among other things.

My eyes shifted over our white and gray home, hoping for a paint chip or broken shingle. But, never in Jake's existence do I believe that would occur. There was a fair amount of things Jacob was amazing at, and the opposite. The problem with Jacob, is that he is far too cocky than most. He believes he is the best, therefore, he is the best. When he was given his rightful role as chief of the pack, it only skyrocketed his ego. His blunt conversations and harsh words became a usual - One, I easily accepted. It was one of the things I could look past, for the sake of love. The sake of my feeling and unconditional protection that radiated from this said love, I allow it to pass me by.

Jacob has never hurt me. His words of anger rarely meet my ears, and even cursing to a mild minimum. Lastly, his faith and trust resided always in me. He had an unwavering connection with me, one that bore no weight to a truthful imprint. Jacob hated the word since we've been married. He pronounced it an excuse, fake, and among many other things. I tried to get rid of that word myself - But, not being your partners' imprint leaves many problems for the future.

I've considered the possibility of someone else. I try to not linger or stick to those ideas, but too often they seep into the core of the brain and demand my attention. Jake swears to me, that such a thing would never happen, and as he becomes older and his distance with vampires suddenly takes a turn for the best - His phasing has begun to slip away. Slowly, but surely, Jacob won't be a wolf no longer. Just, my human.

Jacob had already established to the pack in the event that such were to happen; who claims the role, train the young ones, and so on and so forth. He was much more secretive than most human-wolf relationships we knew of. I wondered if it was because I wasn't a 'rez' girl. If my ties with the 'cold ones' left a risk hanging over their heads. I sometimes wish there were more trust and connection than the secrets we keep. I hate the secrets. The confusion that arises when something as simple as 'I have patrol tonight' that sparks the gas filled room with an explosion. I try to contain the fighting, yet, it only seems to become more quieter, and the home, less empty.

And the more I ponder over each lie, secret, and missable remark - I feel my heart clench in my chest. Feeling an ache, a harboring squeeze as I bent over, with an easy vomiting to follow. Falling to my knees, I groan and hover the small puddle, breathing in the potent smell.

"Bella?" The croaking voice of my husband as he somehow chose the perfect timing for him to discover me. Hunching over me, he pulled back my hair, allow me to extend my neck from its' downward position. "Baby, are you alright?" I gave a weak nod, breathing in heavily, damn near heaving, actually. I could feel his warm fingers caress my jaw and stroke my head his thumb ever-so-gently. I loved this man. No one else. I believed that so.

"Here, let's get you inside." Curling his arms around my body as he scooped me into a child-like cradle. He hummed sounds of rock music and commercial tunes as he paraded me through the crowd of family and into our room. I tried to not think of the guest below, and tried to relieve my thoughts of vomiting again.

"Bells?" Jake repeated my name, this time in a softer tone. I could feel his hand on my stomach, feeling the gentle up-and-down as I try to contain any onset of symptoms once more. I nod to him, as to respond to his call for me. His hand fell to my waist and made a shortcut to my face, which he turned to look at him.

"When was the last time you took a test?"

My mind tried to put the words together, not fully understanding the concept of test and last time. Not driving… haven't been in school for 10 years… .Pregnancy test.

My eyes stuck with Jacob's, as I shook my head no and my heart pounded out of my chest. Letting out an awkward chuckle as I sit up slightly, shaking my head. Trying to even remotely laugh off the subject. "No, I doubt it. You know how I am when I eat meat - Always get some sort of stomach problem."

I think Jake took a hint by the way his eyes and smile fell, nodding slowly as his hand slipped away from my body. Oh, no. I knew my too-obvious act of get off subject had caught his attention. Leaning forward, I place my left hand upon his shoulder, rubbing my thumb into the tense shoulder muscles. "Babe?" I whisper to his ear, bending my knees as I try to coax him to relaxation.

"Not now, bells… Just, rest."

He jerks away from my hold. Abruptly leaving the bed and storming out of our bedroom, but of course being gentle as he shut the door. I couldn't determine if he did for my sake of waterworks, or the guest.

It didn't matter either way. He was still pissed, and I

was here alone.


	2. Chapter 2: No Sunset in Paradise

_Chapter 2_

_No Sunset in Paradise_

The bed was colder this morning, awaken by confusion of my missing husband and lack of sunlight. It wasn't of Jake to leave without notice - If he had came to bed at all. After his foreshadowed anger by my lack of excitement for a child, I had fallen asleep. With no knowledge of his warmth wrapping around me, nor any idea at all if he had came back after exhausting the guest, I seemed to stumble wondrous down the twisting staircase to our lower floors. The automatic shades were open in the living room, at least. Providing the room with a dim light peeking between the trees and cloud cover. A beautiful day in northern Washington. A day, I wished, would be much more lively.

The problem with La Push, was the openness of the people. Perhaps, more so a 'me' problem. I enjoyed the niche of my home, cornered into my living with a warm coffee and books. However, I wanted these days to spend with _someone,_ but with most of my high school friends leaving Forks and the only person necessarily around being Charlie - I became much of a hermit crab in the seclusion of my home. The one thing that remained different between Jacob and I, was his friendliness and my introversion. Jacob was the one to parade me around a bar or party, I'd rather have a plate and sit with moderate conversation... If that.

The buzz of my phone on the top of the kitchen counter reminded me there was life outside of this house. _Carlisle Cullen_ developed on the screen, no facial image to show. My heart skipped a beat, upon recall of my duties today. Why did I accept a 10 year old favor? Why was I repositioning myself in a line of the unknown _all over again? _Frankly, I wasn't sure. I had what he wanted. No, what _I_ wanted. Our history was history, his abandonment had left me lost and broken for _too_ long.

I wouldn't forgive him.

My finger slowly swiped the accept call, bringing Carlisle's voice over the speaker as he greeted me. I held my breath for a second, squeezing my eyes shut as I shook my head. _Idiot._

"Hi Carlisle, how are you?" Glazing my voice with a fake tune of happiness, I attempt to try. at least for Carlisle's sake.

"Well, Bella. I was calling to make sure you weren't having any second thoughts?"

_Alice._

"No, no... What time will we be meeting, and are we meeting at your old house?"

I could hear Carlisle's grin through the phone, the calm and persistent man always knew he could count on me, I suppose. "Actually, we decided to leave the old house. Esme wanted a new project. We're actually just down the river, past the Grand Oaks development. I'll text you the exact address after our phone call. Would you be able to come in the next half hour? We're unsure of the exact time he would be arriving."

My eyes fly to LED clock upon my stove, reading 9:40 AM, and sigh. "Yes, I'll be there shortly. I know the development, it is only about 15 minutes away. Are you south of the development, or east?"

_Don't say east._

"We're east of the development, actually."

_Crap._

"Alright - Make it five minutes."

"Oh, do you live near the river?"

"Directly off, as a matter of fact. On the La Push side."

"Perfect! I'll send the address now. See you soon, Bella."

Beep-Beep.

The call ended, signaling me to rush for my leave. I groan, rubbing the bridge of my nose as I begin to jog across to my upstairs bedroom. _Of course_ they lived just around the bend. Of course they moved back to Forks. Of course I had to be involved with him again. Of all of the things my life was being planned for, this was not anything near that said plan. Making my life all to complicated, once again. As pathetic as it sounded, as ungrateful of them I seemed to be - I owed them this much, I supposed. Flying through my clothes to find something that I wouldn't be judged by Alice or even Rosalie for, I find a formal white tank-top and pleated capris slacks. While not much of my daily style, it was still moderately nice, and not too outspoken. Putting the uniformed outfit on, I toed on a pair of inch high heels, and glanced briefly in the mirror.

The girl I had been ten years ago, while remaining much of my personality, wouldn't have recognized the fool I am stepping outside in this. To greet an ex. To greet a family that I could never determine loved or hated me. To be, someone I wasn't - or someone I haven't been in a long time. I brushed my hair out loosely with my fingers, breathing out the waves that occurred from the night. _Ready as you'll ever be_, I thought to myself. After descending down the staircase, I pick up my phone and car keys, and head out the door.

The one thing that was still unusual about being new money was Jacob's want to flash. I _hated_ this brand-new BMW. It was similar to flashing a bright light in someone's eyes. I sigh, climbing into this white carriage of a car, and receding out of my driveway.

My phone pings with the notification form Carlisle: 095 Millage Road.

He was practically on the other side of the river.

Great.

My GPS automatically grabs the address and pronounces that the address is only 4 minutes away. Would it be wrong to drive this car into a tree for an excuse?

I grip the wheel tighter as my chest begins to palpitate with frantic beats; was I prepared for this? Probably not. Was I gonna do it either way? Probably. I exhale, trying to relax my anxiety as it soars through the roof of this car. My fingers try t ease, but only end up tapping un-rhythmically, as my lip wobbles between my teeth. A part of me whispers to inform Jacob of my trip there, to see them, to see him.

The louder part just turns up the radio to disregard those whispers.

* * *

As I turn the bend to Millage Road, I turn down the instrumental music filling my car and peek between the bushels of trees, trying to place this house. Finally, through some recently planted pines that had bushed along side a newly cemented driveway, 095 Millage Road appeared on a decorated rock near the mailbox. My breath sounds slow, and I swear my heart stops beating. There was no telling what would be said, or done. If - through Jacob's year of lecture and belittlement of vampires - I would even exit out alive. I pull into the driveway of the newly built home.

The house was two stories, with a small peaked high rise on the right side which presented a third floor, or an extremely vaulted room. A beautiful wrap around porch graced the left side of the property, with rose bushes and ivy growing alongside its' side. The house was painted a pale blue, with hints of green and red on the railing and shutters. Four cars resided in the driveway; a bright red Porsche, a black Mercedes, a beige Subaru, and gray Volvo. I wondered if the Volvo was Edward's.

I pulled behind the group of cars, staring down at the house as if I did so long enough, my obligations would disappear.

Didn't work.

Deep breathes, Bella.

I exited the car, feeling my heart begin its' palpitations once more despite my slow breathing. Or, perhaps it was just a chest filled with anxiety. Who knew? As I approached the porch, the door swung open, revealing Carlisle and Esme in their perfect, pale glory. I offered a smile, walking up the steps, and greeted with a hug from Esme.

Her cold hands startled me at first, it was a touch I had been so unfamiliar to. But, despite the coolness, her radiating warmth of love and comfort soothed me instantly. I return the hug instinctively, rubbing her backside in mimicking her comfort.

"Hello, Bella."

"Hi Esme," I pulled away, holding her shoulders as I extend arm length. "How are you?"

Though seeing her yesterday, we hadn't a moment to reconnect. Esme and Carlisle had always treated me fairly, not a difference to their lives. Especially Esme. Esme's close relationship Edward had allowed me to understand her deeply, share a deep love for her on a motherly scale. I briefly wished that my own mother had the same kindness and tenderness.

"Well, Bella. Much better now, with you here."

I smile, comforted by her words. Carlisle places a hand on my shoulder and grants me a smile that rang many bells to my past. "Come in, let us show you to the living room. I'm sure everyone would enjoy a moment with you before Edward arrives."

Weakly, I smile, nodding along as i release Esme from my hold and following behind the couple. My eyes darted around the room, trying to become familiar with the new home but finding no familiar items. The furniture was new, the paintings new, everything, new. As we turned the corner, the hum of chatter stopped upon entry of the room. After grasping my surroundings, I turn to the center of the room, where four familiar vampires, with plastered smiles except for one, stood.

Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and a poker-faced Rosalie.

I almost sighed in relief, giving them a smile in return. Alice was the first to jet across the room, her slender arms enveloping me into a gradual embrace. "Bella!"she squeaked into my hair, pulling my closer to her. "Damn I've missed you." Easing into her arms, I held onto her. She smelled of freshly shampooed hair and flower perfume, stylish as ever and her sleek bob with a much more choppy cut.

"Alice," I hum in return, pulling from the embrace to see her face. Forever young, and beautiful. "I've missed you too." I heave my shoulders as a sign of relaxation, a calm wave soothes over my body and I instantly know who is the cause of it. My head flicks in Jasper's direction, whose smile never faded. He carried more confidence than how i remember - The diet, right. His eyes were a much brighter yellow, signaling a lack of human blood if I was correct. His orange curls were cut moderately shorter, but still the same freckled, pale faced vampire I had met those years ago.

"How are you, Jasper?" I inquire, turning from Alice's embrace, who strides over to her mate. just as Carlisle and Esme, they paired perfectly. The short, black haired girl looked upon her 'towering' mate who smiled down at her with loving eyes. I missed those looks.

What am I saying?

"Great - How about you?" He throws me a wink, hinting at his knowledge of my true feelings. While Jasper and I never held many private conversations or much of a friendship, there were no hard feelings following my 18th birthday party. I forgave him long ago, and had forgotten the event had even occurred honestly. I give a somber smile, nodding as I pull my hair behind my shoulders.

"Alright."

Emmett was the next to want a hug; but, he swept me straight off my feet, and crushed me into a bear hug. I roll my eyes, but laugh. I don't think I'd ever forget his radiational happiness, or these hugs. He sets me down on my feet, giving me the widest grin that could be displayed on his face. I thought about how if things had been different; Emmett and Jasper would be a brother to me. Rose and Alice would be my sisters who practiced their beauty rituals upon me. My eyes flick to Esme and Carlisle, a pair who would have been the perfect in-laws. I couldn't deny these thoughts - they were true to what I had hoped to be in my love with Edward. I thought I had my life planned to every respect. I was wrong.

"We've missed you around here, Bells." His deep voice rolls out, glancing over to his wife. "Even Rose." I think there was an exchanged look between Emmett and Rose, whom slowly walks over and give me a weak smile. She was still has stunning as ever, her everlasting beauty always outshined the room. It made me feel like a tree stump compared to her.

"Bella," She gracefully spoke, my name riding from the back to the tip of her tongue without any bumps. In her presence, I always felt nervous. Pathetic, I suppose. It wasn't her fault. Only, my human's own. "I hope you've been well." Rosalie's soft eyes pulled an answer so swiftly from my throat. I had remembered our last memory of one another; I was a threat to her and her family. And I knew her thoughts were unchanging in tune with her voice and stance against me. I didn't blame her. Me being here today, was a threat even now. I tucked the knowledge of wolves into the darkness of my mind, I couldn't suffer from more anxiety than this exact moment.

"I... Have." My words drawled out. I didn't like that. Typically, I'm quick to blush and talk about my life. About Jacob. About our plans. But, yet even here, I couldn't. Not to them. Rose nods slowly, as if comprehending my emotion with my words as the room draws silent.

But, I soon realized it wasn't my words, but the sound of a car driving up the driveway.

Edward.

It seemed as if all the eyes in the room shifted from the black Volvo, to me. Uneasiness settled in the room, my eyes lowering to everyone's feet as my heart began to tremble in my chest. The last twenty-four hours seemed chaotic, everything leaning to this. Him. Emmett stepped back along side Rosalie, and I seemed to end up tucked behind everyone.

What were they scared of?

As I cowered behind the line of vampires, I twiddled my thumbs and never allowed my eyes to shift from the ground. I didn't feel Jasper's waves, and it only made me realize he understood my pain. My worries, my fears. I wondered if they all understood, or neglected to feel those emotions about Edward and I. If this moment were more so devoted to the arrival of their siblings slash son, or truly to help heal us both? I tried to deny my past, forget of its' existence. Ignore those lingering emotions, whatever they were. I could hear the _whoosh_ of air as the door swung open.

I could never allow myself to forget. The pain, made me remember each broken moment. The pain, never let me forget at least. My eyes roll up to the open spaces between heads to seeing a new figure standing in the middle. The scent of the room began to fill my nose; the familiar comfort waved through me - a reassuring Jasper as I could see his red hair flick from the corner of my eye. But, my heart's tight constrictions were a constant reminder that despite Jasper's abilities, my life was now. With true pain, with true nightmares that rang my body for days and nights on. That the years of long nights weren't worth the times they haunt me.

Edward Cullen killed a girl that loved him, distorted her vision of love and created blind sights for eternity. Every slow second, was another reopening of a wound. He left, leaving me with the gnawing thoughts of how _I _crumbled our kingdom. The one he had promised. The words of love that he had preached, were far gone. They were gone in the forest with the girl he had so easily destroyed. Time seemed to stop once my eyes reached the figure entering the living room;

A man who loved me.

A man who killed me.

Once my eyes finally met onto Edward's silhouette, there was an instant settling feeling of regret. As it filled a pit within my stomach, I dragged my eyes up his torso. I could see his hands at his side, one hand's fingers twisted into a belt loop. I could feel his eyes on me, burning a hole through my own body. I felt every bone in my body become nothing, just a mound of flesh somehow standing. Wishing there was a drug to sedate emotions, just for this moment. As my eyes finally fell onto his, I felt a gasp release faster than I could explain why. Fixating onto his large, beautiful orbs that filled the slender eyes belonging to him. His pale complexion with the hint of past sun freckles compared to his dark hair, shimmering with speckles of reddish tint as I stared, for maybe too long. He was everlasting, a specimen designed for attraction. For the kill. And as my eyes locked in deeper with his, I finally understood why my body had jumped upon first sight; crimson.

This was a color not familiar to me, at least on Edward's face. The shining gold that I had fallen in love with were gone. Now painted with a deep red, signifying his change of diet. Human blood. I could feel every nerve in my body swirl in a frenzy, as if to tell my mound of flesh to _run_. While my eyes stayed locked with his, I could see his lips part as his frame began to tremble, as if the sheer possibility of my being here had crashed his world. Something, I could understand. There were no words spoken around us, and for a moment, I had forgotten there was a small crowd surrounding the two of us. Retracting from his eyes, I look to Carlisle as if he would somehow help me. Fix this sudden ache in my chest that I had sworn off many years ago. But as Carlisle's eyes stayed on Edward, I fell silent. Standing completely still and avoiding Edward's figure in the center of the room, I could feel the stares of everyone in room.

"Edward," Carlisle was the first to break the silence, a small clap as I assumed his hand cupped Edward's shoulder. "I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say we're happy to have you back."

I sure hope he wasn't speaking for me.

Edward's voice ripped a hole in my chest, tearing through the locked doors of my heart and persisting that he could come in. My eyes flew back to his, though he was no longer looking at me. "Thank you, Carlisle." His words, so simple yet a voice I hadn't heard in so long. Even my dreams couldn't perfectly mimic his voice, as it sounded so much more sublime, unequaled to the rest of the tones I have heard in my life. It rang bells in my chest, and I wasn't sure to take them as a warning or a sign of something I refused to admit. As Edward's eyes fell back to mine, he seemed more at ease. Though his eyes retained a new color, they held a familiar look of curiosity whenever he looked at me. For a moment, I questioned why he would be so wondrous of whatever deep, sentimental things my mind was running. Then, as the gears in my head ran and turned to remember everything I could remember about Edward, the reminder of his abilities floated off the gears. Briefly, I searched for why he couldn't read my mind, but was left with a blank - Was it ever figured out? I wasn't sure. My mind wasn't as perfect with details as Edwards' or the rest of them may be. It made me feel more _plain_ compared to the rest of them. Simplistic. Human. A word that I had a love hate relationship with upon realization of the supernatural world around me. Vampires, werewolves - no, shapeshifters, and whatever else was lurking about.

"Bella." Edward's voice drew me back the back of my mind, my dead stare revitalizing and blinking as if I had just been restarted. He smiled that crooked smile, his eyes lighthearted and _happy_ to see me. Despite all of the things that had happened, I somehow was still here. Standing here, listening to him. Staring at him.

What was I doing?

I inhaled a sharp breath, whistling through my teeth as I suddenly regained all knowledge of reality - not the fixation of a perfect fantasy where Edward and I had never fell out. _Why is that a fantasy?, _my thoughts mocked me. Even my head knew better than I did. I shook my head, dropped my eyes to the floor as I began to jet past him and the room of statues. It felt as if pressure began to settle on my shoulders, onto my chest as I felt an onset of suffocation. It felt all too surreal. And as I bolted past Edward, our body's clashed. Softly, yet it felt like I had ran into a brick wall. I wince, continuing forward as I continued out of the living room and out the front door. I couldn't allow myself to think this way, I was married. I was happy. I was over him, over _this_. A constant lingering of whatever love I had for Edward stuck to me, somehow remaining despite all this time. I was quick to leave. Quick to get in my car, and speed off to my home. My life. Pressing to get back to real life, for I couldn't allow myself to slip back into the hole I had dug for myself all those years ago. I couldn't.

I wouldn't allow my head to fill with images of Edward Cullen's love for me. I refused to keep knowledge of how his hands felt along my body, how the idea of him kissing me still made my heart skip beats, and that when the nights grew long - His voice came into my mind. The soft, angelic voice that resonates with Edward. One I hadn't heard in a decade, but still would turn a head at the first sound. Edward, would forever be my first love. And as badly as my heart plead for him to be my last, I would continue to deny it what it wanted. What it wanted was wrong. It had to be. For none of this made any sense, to the least.

As my eyes welled with tears, the greenery in front of my drew me back to the real world. To a world where Edward didn't have to be in my mind. I knew Carlisle would seek me out eventually, maybe he knew better than to. Perhaps, he would set Edward in a stage of denial. Maybe Alice was seeing too many outcomes to pinpoint which one would appear. I couldn't continue to inquire, question, or even think about them. Or him. I needed to get home to my husband, move past this stupid decision, and continue my life. I refused to sink back into the same hole from all those years ago.

* * *

It felt right here. No overhanging worries or threats as I felt my husbands arms loop around my waist. Pulling me in between his legs as I pressed the button to turn on the 'low' pressure leveled jets of the jacuzzi. His nose and lips nuzzled my neck, placing sweet kisses as he worked along my right shoulder, his fingers dragging themselves over my pelvic bone in his process of hinting something he obviously wanted. After returning home today, Jacob was all love and back to the playful man I knew. His attitude to bring me joy had allowed me to feel more at ease, and to release the thoughts of this morning. I didn't want to cloud my mind with irrelevant thoughts, when my life was chugging along fine. I hummed along to each of Jake's kisses, his hands pulling my body impossibly closer. I stifled a giggle, twisting my neck around to kiss his stubbled cheek, hands also pulling me to his lap.

"You are too much for me." I tease, a smile curling sweet dimples on my cheeks which he kissed quickly. This was how my life was destined to be, in completely and undeniably in love with Jacob. He was the man whom despite his moments of forgetting who I may be, loved me too. I couldn't deny that. As we giggled, played, and felt in our tub on a high of our cognac, I felt my head lose itself. Jacob was the man I loved, and I was losing him slowly but surely with the constant denial of children, life, and social life. Deprival of what a human would want, things I had become quick to deny my own. _Edward._ My heads' suggestion made me laugh; it wasn't wrong, but was it right. But, as soon as the thought came by mind threw back in reverse. Gone faster than it came. This wasn't the time for thoughts on him. My Jake was present, and very pleasantly grasping all my attention.

"What's so funny?" He murmurs to me, his hands pulling my hips higher on him as he shifted deeper in the water. My eyes fell onto his face, beneath me, extending my tipsy smile as I watched his face. He wanted me, his hands and body explained it all alone. As just as I grasped the actions of Jacob, he was easing me down onto him. His hips pushing deeply into between mine as his dark eyes seductively possessed mine, urging me to rock slowly back onto him.

With Jacob as my one and only, I had never imagined this was comparable to this. Each moment of sex with Jacob was just right. We both had grown into each other bodies, blindly understand how to best understand one another. Eventually, it just fell into the right pace, the right touch. In my mind filled with a bias for my husband, he was the best I had ever known, and hope to be the only to know. Jake's slid up from my hips once I had established a rhythm, but my eyes unable to watch the show as his thrusts made me toss my head in back in the throes of passion. I could feel his hands cupping my small breasts, pinching my nipple between his thumb and index finger. He rubbed me like he was tuning a radio, slow and carefully, awaiting for the music to play. My chest heaved with every thrust, quick to move as Jake picked up the pace. His grunts and moans filled with my name and nicknames forced me to climb faster to the diving board. The soft splashing of water each time I met with his body, echoing back to our need for the intense moment.

"Jake-!" I gasped out as my leg began to tremble around him, in tune with his hand's sudden contact with my womanhood. I could feel every part of my body unraveling around him as I moan, pushing my fingernails in his thighs. I quivered as I coiled into him, my mouth meeting his neck as his hands were quick to find my ass and lift as he thrusted to his own orgasm. The aftermath of his orgasm felt warm as it oozes out of me as he unsheathed from his cock. His head buries into the crook of my neck as I continued to gasp for air. His hands made small, slow strokes around my back.

"I love you, Bella." He whispered to me with his voice dripping of relaxation after… _that_. I smile, a chuckle erupting quietly from my lips as I nodded in agreement. "And… I love you." Picking up my head to nuzzle his nose sweetly, reaching the bottle of Cognac. Jake's eye roll only cheered me on more, swinging the bottle to my lips as I sat up straight and took an audible 'gulp' of the drink. As the bottle eased from my lips, Jacob was quick to take the drink away and smacked his lip with disapproval.

"Tsk tsk tsk," The porcelain clinking as the bottle eased onto its' leveled ledge beside Jake. "I- think it is time for you to go to bed." I nod in agreement as he wraps my body around him and lifts the both of us from the tub, and within seconds within the warmth of our duvets. There was never a cold moment with Jacob, thankfully. Never a dull moment, barely the sad ones. Jacob was made for me, and I was made for him. My lingering thoughts of another man of my past were brief, an interruption of the regular scheduling. Jacob's love burned and consumed me as a ripe flame, whilst my pasts memory mingled with the flames in an unfamiliar pattern. I hated the unfamiliarity of this ache, yet remembering it from all those years ago.

My husband. My love. His face slid into a large grin, but never moving from where he was, only ever peering over my face as if he would find something new, different. He was kind to me, and simply a man whom I could trust with my love. With me. I knew he wouldn't neglect me in the end, leave me behind, or create a battle for the ages. His love for me was never ending and everlasting, Jacob was the foundation of a home. He was the stability in my life after the chaos Edward had created. I cursed at myself for thinking his name, but allowed it slide down the slope into the back of my mind, allowing Jacob's presence to overcome me, falling into a dark, but peaceful abyss.

It was beautiful.

The small speckle of purple and yellow across the long grass, a hidden field in a hole of the woods. Something, I felt was apart of me at one point of time but couldn't tie it with anything. My fingers traced over the tall field flowers and grass, feel all of the flowers before suddenly being pricked by a dead flower's thorn. I wince, looking down to my finger which seeped with blood. I brought it to my face to stare at it, watching as it carried itself down to my wrist. And I watched my hand, a figure took shape behind my hand's view. I lowered my hand, looking at the shimmering man in front of me,

Edward. This was a dream familiar to me, filled with old feelings of desire and love for a man I didn't know. This Edward had beautiful, golden eyes. A smile I had recognized, a stare I was used to, and as he sped to appear before me, his touch was too. His hands slipped around the small of my waist, pulling my body closer to his. I gasp, his grip rivets me to his body, but his deep gaze was enough for me to stay here. With him, with us.

His cool breath skimmed my cheeks as his lips crawl across my face. This was a feeling I had never understood; how could a man break my soul so easily? Yet so effortlessly my mind answered. Love. Something I knew my heart would never forget, and regardless of all my new memories of love - this one could never be rid of or stolen. But, the more I stood here in Edward's embrace my heart seemed to pinch in my chest. It seemed that while my heart held these memories, he would so easily leave. Forget. While I had done all the remembering, the holding, and the promise that my love would stay - He so easily disappeared.

My eyes locked back with his as he drew back from my face, his gelid hands cupped my jaw sweetly, and still no words to come from either of us. No hesitation, no denial or withdrawal. His eyes seemed to tremble, taking all of me in within seconds, and holding no restraints as his stone lips came down to mine. My heart jumped for my throat, but very quickly I succumbed to the feeling of Edward against me. All these fears and shame slipped down my body and disintegrated like smoke as it the ground below us. His hands held me as I mollified in our gentle enfold. Time was stuck in place, each angry memory becoming ingurgitated with _love_. I knew I was biased, blind to my past, but every bind suddenly broke and allowed me to release from feeling so insane.

Before I knew it, I was drenched in sweat. Sitting up in my bed, with an unfazed and slumbered Jacob beside me. My dream of Edward had left me with a beating heart and a shameful heart on my sleeve. And as I stared upon my husband, there were things I was certain of and others I wasn't. First, was that I loved Jacob Black, with a passion I couldn't described. Yet, secondly, after ten years of a festering, prolonged emotion, I had come to terms with this; I still loved Edward Cullen.


	3. Chapter 3: Extended Stay

_A/N: Hello Everyone! I hope you've been enjoying the story thus far, and in light of some reviews I hope to put something into a perspective; this story is not decided if Bella will love Edward or Jacob. This story already has __**determined**_ _she loves her husband, in spite of how bitter she may seem to be about his social-ness or his attitude, it is what got her through the hardest parts of her life. Bella's love for Edward was a festation of a love she had for a teenage boy - who isn't really a teenage boy - over the past 10 years. She has been denying herself the idea of letting go and has only buried her feelings for Edward. Yes, she loves them both as idiotic and pathetic as it may seem; but that is Bella. It was a pattern that seemed canon throughout the story. However, to not spoil the following chapters or the plot of the story, Bella is quick to remember who was there and who wasn't. Her denial of pregnancy for Jacob is solely because she is still scared of something for some unknown forsaken reason - which will eventually come to truth(and I don't want to expose right now ;) ). Bella loves her family, and loves her human life. But, how will she be when Edward sticks around…._

_To not go further into the plot, or discourage someone from reading; please, just read! I love all of your reviews and am grateful for your feedback! Continue to review or DM me, so I can know how all of you are feeling. Those things matter to me, too. I hope you all enjoy this chapter! _

_-Red_

* * *

_Chapter 3_

_Extended Stay_

"Are we still going to Charlie's for the game tonight?" Jacob's gruff voice awoke me from my daydreaming in his arms, his brown orbs peering down to me. The one thing I would never grow old of loving, was waking up to him each morning. Even as we age; with soft wrinkles appearing along our foreheads and our life becoming much more simpler, I could never find a flaw in him. I stretched my arms out, a small squeak popping from my lips as I did so. He chuckled, pulling me closer once I was at ease from my stretch. Nodding, I look back up to his face and smile.

"Ya, for sure. Who all is going?"

"You know the pack loves a good game - Probably the usual."

And per the usual; half of the rez would appear at Charlie's house this Sunday night. With plenty of cold beer, Sue's fish fry, and a loud game blasting on Charlie's flat screen. Though his house wasn't suitable enough for pack of wolves to be present, but nevertheless, he invited them without any hesitation. The cars would pile onto his front lawn, with a faint sound of cheering and loud announcers playing from the TV.

Jake and I always bought beer - per the usual - because typically by the time we arrived, it was gone. As we pulled the cases of beer from the bed of his truck, our eyes met briefly with the same smug smile across our lips. Proceeding to the wide open front door of Charlie's home, eyeing at the crowd of darkly tanned men - except my father- circled around the TV with the smell of beer filling the house. I snickered some, leading Jake into the kitchen as we set the cases of beer down on the counter. Sue was quick to come into view, with her small smile as she quickly embraced me into a tight hug, then moving to Jacob whom probably squeezed her much, much more tighter. She rolled her eyes, waving off his ridiculous grin and gesturing to the new cases of beer on the counter.

"Thank you guys, you know how fast _they'll_ drink it." Mumbling, she narrows her eyes in the direct of the living with a puckered out lip, disapproving of their quick intake of beer. Jake and i shared a conjoined laugh, shifting our eyes also to the living room. Charlie slipped through the crowd and also greeted Jacob and I with a hug, squishing all three of us into an awkward huddle. With a soft hum of the NFL theme, Charlie's gravelly drunk voice filled the small kitchen.

"Hiya, Bells." As I laughed softly to him being already drunk - but, for a Sunday night, I wasn't too surprised. I could feel Sue rolling her eyes out of view, with a big smile as she admired her husband. It made my heart swell to know someone loved Charlie in this world. With the intake of the contagious happiness in the room, and following that with the adoration of my life now, even with all its weird and crooked faults, I was quick to forget everything. Quick to throw the events of yesterday, with my dreams of Edward. Whether or not I knew my heart longed for someone that I couldn't have then, I knew where my heart belonged. In my home; with Jacob, with Charlie and Renee, with the pack, and in spite of all, Forks. I tried to forbid his name from my mind, and yet it kept coming back like a bad leak. Creeping back inconspicuously and I, always open arms.

"Guess who we saw at Target in Portland yesterday?" Sue perked up as she tore open the cases of beer and began piling them into the freezer. Charlie groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Never thought I'd see any of their faces again in this town. Still cannot believe they have the _nerve-_"

"Charlie." Sue scolded. But, I already knew what was coming. There was only some that Charlie would react that way about. The Cullen's. "We happened to run into Carlisle, and his wife - Oh I forget her name."

"Esme." I stated.

"Yes! Well, they certainly haven't aged a day." Her eyes exchanged a look with Jacob, who beside me pulled me closer to his body. His nostrils flared, a rough grunt releasing from his throat in frustration. I peered over his shoulder, looking over to the pack members as some of their ears seemed to pick up Sue's words. Sam, Seth, and Paul emerged from the crowd, their eyes narrowed and tight. A part of me was grateful for the pack's knowledge of what the Cullen's were, another hated to hit restart on the vampire drama. The last seen vampire in these parts was 5 years ago; Victoria.

She had came to kill me, no doubt. Weeks of playing with the pack had grew Jacob into frenzy I had never seen him as before. He hadn't worked for weeks, a constant patrol, hell - I was barely allowed to leave our minuscule apartment at that time. I still remembered it all as it was yesterday - but tried to block the images of Victoria's body being completely _shattered_ by Jacob's teeth. There was no hesitation or worry, he did it with an ease. It made me realize the power that Jacob had, that they all had. I swallowed at the thought.

Charlie's mild confusion was plastered on his face, associated with the reaction of the three men. It wasn't his fault, for he didn't know the true meaning behind the anger of the Cullen's return. The treaty wouldn't allow for them to explain their beings, and vice versa. Just because Charlie knew of the shifters, they could not compromise the treaty for the sake of telling someone. Or, the risks of his safety. I shuddered at the thought, but didn't allow it to straggle. Jacob's eyes flickered towards his men, as I called them, nodding towards the direction of the door. They all responded as a militia trained men, marching out of the front door per Jake's orders. He places a kiss on my temple before following suit, leaving me with Charlie and Sue in the kitchen. Charlie's confused look never left his face, eyeing my sternly, radiating "what was that about?" before the words even left his mouth.

"I'm not sure." I shrug, turning away towards the food on the table so he couldn't seeing my lying glow on my face. The pack didn't and wouldn't understand the extent of danger Charlie would be placed in if he had known of the true identity of the Cullen's; it was grander than just the treaty being broken. I knew the Cullen's wouldn't start a war over him knowing, but I knew if the wrong person caught wind - it _could_. I was never able to tell Jacob of the _other_ vampires I knew of, or even the Volturi's existence. Because I knew the knowledge of something that big would terrify him. And frankly, Jacob wasn't the greatest at keeping secrets, especially from his pack. I didn't need them… Flying to wherever they were and getting slaughtered by a flock of strong vampires. Or whatever their group withheld. Edward's crimson eyes flickered across my vision briefly, though I tried to block the knowledge of him being apart of it. Of killers. While my head flew into a fit of rage over that, I attempted to let the battle cease in the background; Edward was… different, right?

"Bells?"

My head jerked to Charlie, giving him a distant smile as my head dwells on the stupid matter. His brows furrow, obviously annoyed by my lack of response. "What is going on with them? What is their issue with the Cullens'?"

I shrug again, trying to play it off as a non-issue. "I'm not sure, perhaps just Jacob's petty resentment towards Edward. Or somethin'." I knew Charlie would or would not believe that. But, with Charlie's snort followed by a sly snicker, I could presume he believed me. He always preferred Jacob over Edward, to him Edward was a boy with the want to 'screw' with me. And Jacob was a _man_, as he would call it, and truly wanted to be with me. I couldn't agree nor disagree, this wasn't a love triangle of "I love him, but I love him too", it was as simple as Jake stayed. Jake was here, he promised to love me and fulfilled those promises even now. Yet, Edward made those same promises, but he wasn't here. I loved them both, at a separate time for different reasons; Edward was Edward. He had decided our love wasn't worth fighting for, I supposed.

Jacob was alone when he came back inside, with a dead look in his eyes though he tried to hold a smile on his face. _I_ knew better. He gave charlie a nod, approaching me and whispering softly into my ear, "I need you to come outside." His voice was curt, showing no emotion that I could pinpoint as to why he was requesting me outside. His hand intertwined with mine, and slowly began pulling me outside with him. The boys stood in a line, almost as if they were waiting for orders - I realized, they very much were. Jacob turned to me, beginning to pull of his shirt before tossing it in my direction, in which I pathetically stumbled to catch.

"Bella, I need you to tell me if you know anything. Since, you were the only person to have seen them."

I was confused by the question, shaking my head in denial as I clutched to his shirt. "Know what?"

"Have they broken the treaty?"

It clicked, they were searching for a reason to run them out of town. But, why? What could be so detrimental as to run them from town side from their centuries worth of troubles, I couldn't pinpoint a reason. "Bella," Jacob pressed as he came closer to me, his forehead placed against mine as he pulled me into his arms. Our eyes locked as he stroked my hair from my face, tucking it behind my ears. His dark eyes were wide, no longer showing signs of frustration - but of worry. _Of what?_

"It's time for us to settle - We're tired." He seamlessly answered my unspoken question. It all clicked, the battle in my mind ceasing as I realized the truth behind all of this. Jacob's intent became clear; he no longer wanted to phase. He wanted to step down - they all did. But, that could never happen with the Cullen's reappearance. A part of my heart broke, clenching onto his biceps and pressing my face against the warmth of his skin. As we stood in our embrace, my eyes met with the pack members behind him. They all shared that look; the need to rest. The worry and frustration, the idea of having to continue their phasing was depressing to them. My eyes met with Sam, who had the most solemn look of them all. I knew he was exhausted. I knew he wanted to go home to his wife and son. He, was the most tired after phasing for the longest time period of the group.

My eyes turned to Jacob, as he pulled away with his hands patting down my hair gently. "Do you know anything?"

"I need you to reiterate what is along the lines of breaking the treaty outside crossing borders?"

"The treaty entails no crossing onto Quiluete land, no 'changing' any humans, nor feeding on human blood."

Red eyes crossed my vision - more specifically, Edward's. Was that breaking the treaty when being in another country? Was he feeding on people from Forks? I cringed at the thought, but didn't allow it to be noticeable. My eyes blink, allowing this train of though to run through me until Jacob's throat cleared. In a daze, I shook my head with an ease as I spoke;

"No."

"You sure you didn't notice anything abnormal?"

"They've moved near the river." I hinted. _Was I lying? _I asked myself, unsure of my decision to say no. Would it be considered protecting them? My eyes stayed locked with Jake's, who nodded and bit his lip - a trait he had picked up from me. He whistled to the men behind him, who scurried like mice into the forest nearby. "We have to go - You tell Charlie thanks for the invite."

I frown. "But, we just got here."

"These things can't wait, you know that."

His lips placed a wet, soft and warm kiss against mine. I could feel his anxiety in this kiss, I shared that with him. But, within moments he had retreated from my arms, fleeing into the woods until I saw nothing but the darkness interchanged with the trees. My heart clenched in my chest as I stood with a dumbfounded look on my face - Should I have told him? Carlisle hadn't explained if Edward would be sticking around this time around. Would he be sure to stay this time around? Did he pose a threat? These questions piled up into my mind, forcing my heart to pick up pace until I exhaled a whistling breath, my eyes sealed shut as I thought this through. I wouldn't deny that while a part of me still has a strange love for him, I couldn't allow that to affect the love I _have_ for Jake. But, I also couldn't allow my love for Jake to destroy a family. _A coven, _my head sarcastically corrected. I sigh, I had to leave this be. I couldn't stand here thinking if I was right or wrong, it had already been done. I glance once more toward's the trees Jacob had disappeared into, before slipping back to Charlie's. My eyes fell back once more to the trees as I sense the presence of eyes on me - but find no one in the distance.

* * *

_**Jacob's POV**_

_I can't wait to tear those-_

_Cut it out, Paul. _I thundered, my head swinging around to watch the three wolves tailing closely behind. Paul's ears lowered, with an acute whine to be heard. I rolled my head back, shaking it in disapproval. This was no time to be thinking about killing them - as delightful as it could be - there was a threat to be held once again. Not only of the people in our towns, but also the future for the pack or I. My time of shifting was becoming more and more tiresome, with the company[s growth and with my proposition of beginning a family, I didn't want this life anymore. She deserved stability, and as did I. As did the rest of them. It had been a long time since a vampire had crossed these grounds. We had slowly begun phasing out the schedule, finding less and less reason for shifting - we were on the verge of ending it, in all reality.

The dimly lighted house appeared through the trees, my teeth beginning to grind involuntarily. The sickeningly sweet stench filled my nose about a mile back, but it only worsened as we got closer. I could hear the others' shared my views on the stench; _smells like lemon bleach, _ or better yet_, Clorox doused in pancakes. _I huffed at Seth's idea, close enough.

As we edged closer to the borders of their land, I knew we couldn't risk crossing. _Stop,_ I spoke as we halted in a diamond shape; me, at the forefront whilst the others stayed behind me. We stood still, waiting for them to figure out we were here which didn't take long. A small group of three pale outlines flying into the moonlight nearest to us. The doctor was the most familiar face out of the bunch, whom approached me. His hands laid at his side, noticeably trying to keep us from jumping at their throats. _As they should be, _I heard Sam snort, making my eyes roll as I tried to maintain focus on the situation ahead.

I assess the pale figures in front me; vampire doctor, a blonde hair'd man, as well as a dark haired, bulky one all standing alongside one another. Carlisle stood at the front, with the two men sanding behind him as a precaution. I could respect that - At least Carlisle was never known to me for beating around the bush. He respected the treaty, our ways, and in return hoped for the same. Well, we try - to say the least.

The door from the back porch alerted a straggler was about, our eyes quickly jumping as we were greeted by a new face, a familiar face. Edward stood by Carlise's side, his head hanging as he stared at the ground. Refusing to meet his eyes with me, I 'inertly' smirked. This, seemed to have caught his attention somehow, and his eyes flashed to me with his jaw locked and a perceptible stretching of his fingers into fists. But, we were all quick to jump back as we all had noticed the redness to his eyes.

_They've broken the treaty!_

_We need to end this now, Jacob!_

_Shush!_ I swung my head back to them as an orderly teacher with a switch at hand for whipping. Their heads bowed, tails slowly tucking between their legs as the three sat still. My eyes shifted towards Carlisle, pointing my nose towards Edward in a gesture. Edward cleared his throat and straightened his posture, looking towards Carlisle as well.

"They think you've broke the treaty."

_How did he…_

_Shut. Up. _I moaned to Seth, Edward's lip curling into a half faced smirk as he crossed his arms over his chest. Bella hadn't mentioned this ability to us - We know of their speed, and strength. Could they all read our minds? I quietly wondered how much she had known, trying to refrain from this thought exposing itself to my pack - or Edward, I guess now. Carlisle nodded slowly, trying to assure some sort of comfort as he allowed a small concealed smile present itself.

"Edward is no longer apart of our coven, and hasn't been for a long time." He begun to explain, though I could hear the rustle of the guys behind me. "He is just visiting for the time being, and will be going back to his coven in Italy."

I huffed.

"They don't believe you." Edward's grating voice uttered; he seemed too perfect. It was repulsive, not to mention the smell. The way he carried himself, full of pride and _arrogance_.

"Understandably," Carlisle placed a hand on Edward's shoulder. "I can rest you assured Edward will have to return to his coven soon due to his need there. Edward has also agreed to no hunt in the state for the sake of the treaty." I could see Carlisle's eyes tremble with the words of him hunting elsewhere. For a second, I believe Carlisle could admit Edward's actions were wrong.

_Jake, we can't just allow this happen._

_He's a killer!_

_Monstrosity!_

Thinking to myself, I needed to reflect that while Edward wasn't hunting in the sate - he had to somewhere. I cringed to the thought, and looked directly at the pair of red eyes in front of me, a glare settling between us. _How do we know you'll leave, or if you won't follow the rules?_

"I'm not an idiot." He snapped.

My teeth bared, snarling as I jumped forward, which caused him to stumble a foot back; filling his eyes and face with anger as he began to charge back towards me. But, Carlisle was quick to stop him, with a pounding hand to Edward's chest and the bulky, black haired pale-face flying behind him as if to restrain him. Their voices became hushed, urgent whispers as me ears pointed up to pick up their words.

"You cannot do this here - You're better than this."

Edward was relived of the bulky man's hold, with Carlise's fathering stare as he shifted back to our view. Disappointment was settled in his aura, and even I felt bad. Surely, this wasn't the man Bella had claimed to love all those years ago - was it? I shook my head free of my thoughts of her, but Edward's lowered head flicking upward showed that he had already heard me.

"Don't think of her like that. " His voice lowered, as if my thoughts were somehow pungent.

_How dare _you _think of my wife at all,_ I viciously added, to which Edward's nostrils exhaled loudly as his chin rose up.

"_You, _are her husband?" He sounded dumbfounded, almost as if he had experienced some sort of disbelief. I realized, Edward had truly not been around at least Carlisle to know that I had married Bella. It made me want to laugh, to cheer, to shove it down his throat that Bella was and would always be better along my side. As cocky as it sounded, I refused to allow the demon-spawn standing before me to think of my wife with anyone else that wasn't me. I wondered if I could 'yell' thoughts, oh well.

_One and only._

"I trust there won't be any issues then?" Carlisle's voice intervened in our subtle feud. I turn my head to him nodding. Edward's eyes stayed on me, his face no longer showing any unsettled rage but now mirroring a dead look; I curiously wondered what he had been thinking about. _Bella,_ I thought. It made me cringe to think of what he thought of Bella. He didn't deserve to think of her.

_As long as the blood sucker leaves soon,_

"As long as I leave soon," He muttered out, Carlisle nodding in response and putting a single hand out a farewell.

"We'll be in touch, I presume." And with that, they had all seemed to disappear within the confines of their home. The men behind me growled, angered by my decision. I couldn't entertain the possibility of them leaving - it had to happen per their own terms and those outlined along the treaty. I turned my nose towards the forest, beginning my 'commute' home. Sam, drug alongside me as I began to near my home.

_Jacob, he had to go._ His dark eyes bored into mine, showing the same, mixed emotions I had been allowing to form within me.

_He'll go. Don't worry. If I have my say, they all will._

* * *

"Did you see his eyes?"

"Whose?"

"Edward's."

Bella's brown doe eyes widen with the realization, almost as if she had been caught in a lie. It made me frustrated, my head shaking in disbelief as I threw my hands in the air. "Bella!" I yelled, hearing a soft gasp escape her lips. We didn't fight, at least not till recently it seemed.

"I… I think so." Bella mumbles incoherently, but enough for her to understand the consequences of her actions. I sigh, broken by the fact that she had half-lied to me about the information I had asked, but refused to linger long. I turn back to her, staring down as she laid on the couch with her arms wrapped around her knees. She was here, perfect as ever and yet - I couldn't nail what was happening now. She's typically so easy to read, so easy to understand she was an open book wit the answers beside the questions. But now - I couldn't even find the book.

"Whats' been going on with you?"

"I don't know."

Her words presented an unsought out possibility to me. Was she scared herself, or were there other things running about? I hadn't sat still in weeks, its' seems. Perhaps, she was just as lost and confused as I was. I rested myself on the couch, my head resting on top of her knees and allowing her hands to stroke the sides of my face softly.

"You never tell me what happened when you saw them. The Cullens'." I began, my head shifting so she could see my face. I could already hear her sigh.

"I didn't really stay - Said hi, and left."

"Why?" I ask, shifting so now I was sitting up and had a single arm stretched to her shoulder, my fingers stroking the bottom of her jaw.

"It was a lot. To see him."

I hadn't thought of the damage seeing Edward would do to Bella - A part of me had forgotten his existence until a couple of days ago. He was a part of a dark time for Bella, a part in myself I hadn't want to mention. She was tired of his name, tired of the things attached to his name. I, was there to relieve that agony. The anguish I had held her through the night terrors, as if her body had been set aflame and somehow, I extinguished it. I frown to the realization; she was torn. Distraught on a matter that her mind had never decided, was their relationship for nothing?

"I'm sorry, baby." I leaned down, kissing her with a igniting passion as she moved slowly back with me. She hums, breaking out kiss while holding my face in front of hers'.

"I'll be okay - I think." She laughs. _Bella, _I thought. She would be the one to not allow herself to understand the extent of her own problems, or talk to me about it. But - Bella wasn't a great listener.

"Alright."

"I promise."

"Sure, sure." I mumble. I knew this would arise again, without doubt. There was something she wasn't sure of, or something she simply wasn't telling me about. And, I couldn't blame her. Though I was her husband, I knew she had a bad rep for not telling me things that I _should_ know. But, that wasn't her fault - I guess. She'll, slowly but surely, begin to understand whatever it is. And eventually, it'll come back to me. My mind shifted to the ideas that it could be, wondering and pondering what she thought of.

Or who.


	4. Chapter 4: Unpredicted Futures

_A/N: Hi all! I'm sorry for the great delay on this chapter. I hope you enjoy it! I'm working on Chapter 5 now and cannot wait to finish. Please be safe and healthy during these uncertain times!_

_Chapter 4_

_Unpredicted Futures_

"Well, Mrs. Black, everything appears just fine for you."

"Is the urinalysis-"

"Clean of disease and negative for pregnancy," Dr. Smith smiles, resting her soft hand onto my arm. Her reassuring tone provided me some mild ease, but I continued to twiddle my lip between my teeth. "You have been interested in your urine test all morning - is there something on your mind?" Her tone was suggestive, hinting at possible scenarios but not daring to admit to any.

"No, no one else…. Jacob and I have been _talking_ about um - having kids? I guess. It's a lot to think about."

"It's up to you, Bella." Her promising voice put my mind at rest, exhaling a relieved sigh in response. "Whenever you're ready, feel free to come back up here and we can discuss conception, pregnancies - everything." The light in her blue eyes warmed my chest, providing me an onset of comfort which was much needed in order for me to sit up right from my slouched position.

"I always feel like something is over hanging - Like, I'm not sure how ready I am."

"Like what?" Dr. Smith asked.

"What if he decides one day, to just leave?"

She laughs - as they all do when I make such an assumption - with a shake of her head. "The way Jacob looks at you when he comes in here, I have no doubt you're the only woman for him."

Oh, how wrong she could be. But, in a way she was right. I knew Jake loved me, with everything his heart could give me. Yet, there was always that thought. Always that worry he could go, and he would so easily. That there would be another person and it wouldn't even be his fault. As stupid as it seemed, there would be no forgetting the possibility of Jacob imprinting on someone else. And, he would drop me like a bag of rocks. Just as Sam did Leah. I cringed inertly, my eyes falling to my lap as I avoid her warm eyes.

"You'd be a great mother, Bella. Don't doubt that. Now, lets get your paperwork settled, and you can get home."

The hospital seemed too busy on Mondays, which was why I rarely came on these days. Crowded lobbies, wait times were long, and the bustle was a bit too much. For a town of 3,000 people, it seemed _too_ crowded. In a way, though, it was a good thing. It assured me I had small possibilities of running into anyone I could know, and could refrain from the weird, awkward conversations I'm sure would ensue. With the folded paperwork in my hand, I proceeded to hustle out of this hospital without any inconvenience; I needed to go shopping, maybe read a little, who knows perhaps I'll go for a walk. But, things never seem to go the way I plan over the past couple days.

My phone buzzed in my back pocket, with my thoughts shooting to Jacob. He was always on time to text me, whether to let me know he was on lunch or if he knew I wouldn't be busy. Glancing down to my phone which I reached from my back pocket, Jacob and I's wedding photo was placed next to a line of words; _How did everything go? Any news?_

News as in pregnancy, of course. I swallowed a little, almost ashamed to tell him '_Nothing yet, besides we haven't officially done anything yet. Doctor said to come in once we've gone in a few rounds'_, followed by a wink emoji. I'm sure he'll find a laugh in that, though my sense of humor was quite bland. I stared down at the three dots as it seemed he was texting back, but watched as they disappeared. _Probably busy,_ I thought as I put my phone back into my pocket.

"Bella?"

I swung my head around to the flaxen eyed doctor, whose smile brought one to my own face. Carlisle. He extended his hand out to me for a quick shake, the movement somehow _perfected_ by his fluidity.

"Hello, Carlisle." My eyes drift over him, searching for some sort of identification or presence of him in the hospital, but lacking any of the sort. It provided me an odd sense of relief. "What brings you here?"

"Just meeting with a colleague." Carlisle's voice was almost reassuring, as if sensing my nervousness. He shrugs, his smile unfazed as he watches the people passing by. "I hope you've been alright?"

"Fine. Slightly busy." I joke. I was never busy it seemed - Jacob made that impossible for me to even remotely do much of anything other than be a boring housewife. Which, I probably shouldn't complain of but there were times I wish I had something to keep me sane on the side. Oh well. Carlisle chuckles, nodding in agreement.

"Understandable - we all seem quite busy nowadays." There was a pause, where our eyes disconnected and the single thought we shared seemed to be so connected, yet no one wanted to speak. Or, at least I didn't want to. There was a small pit in my stomach developing with a clumping of anger and sorrow, unsure where to place it - I allow it to blurt involuntarily from my mouth.

Idiot.

"I'm sorry for barging the other day but, Carlisle you should have known better."

"Bella. I shouldn't have put you in that situation." His apologetic voice brings a frown over the once upturned lips. "I'm sorry." He sighs, running a hand over his slicked back hair. His kindness had created a swell to my heart. "I made a presumption off a decade old relationship, and that is my own fault."

"No, not at all. I owed you the favor-"

"Barely." He hints.

"I know." I mumbled. My eyes fell back to the linoleum flooring beneath our feet, the dark scuffs and stains being the only thing in my vision outside of our shoes. I wondered what had happened the night Jacob had supposedly seen them. Or, better yet, how did they feel with my sudden presence? How did Edward feel, following my leave? Carlisle relieved a sigh, my eyes turning back to him. It seemed as though his face pictured a happy man, something was weighing heavily. But, I didn't dare to ask.

My resentment wasn't for Carlisle, and possibly it wasn't fair to extend my anger towards Edward to all of them. But, even my heart knew if I had allowed any of them to creep into my life, I worried that he would too. Not so much in a stance that I would leave Jacob, but one where I would feel lost. The memories that remained between Edward and I seemed frozen in time, no true closure or absolute definitions of what was our _love_. Perhaps, that is what held me so still in this mess.

"I should get going." I finally spoke, glancing back towards Carlisle's eyes which were already on me. A somber smile spread, nodding as he stepped back as if to allow me to go. "Of course,"

"See you, Mrs. Black."

"Sure."

* * *

"You can leave your hair alone, it looks _fine._" I reassured, coming behind Jacob with my arms slipping around his waist. "You're looking a bit like a 17 year old going to his first dance."

I cock a brow, and Jake groaned, running his finger straight back from his untamable hair. I giggled, shaking my head. Moving around him, I picked up the comb. "Allow me," Brushing the comb through his hair, made it a bit more formal as I parted it, but allowing it stand just some so it wasn't too boyish.

"I think that'll do it." Smiling, I kiss his cheek as he looks in the mirror, nodding in agreement. He glances at me, cocking that same brow I just gave him.

"You better get ready - I'm not leaving without you."

I groan, looking at my unpresentable self in the mirror as I pathetically stormed into our closest. Jake's nomination for construction entrepreneur of the year was wonderful, and I should go. I just hated the idea of being dressed up with thousands of people watching my every move. It wasn't my idea of a weeknight but, what could I say? No? No. I looked over the array of clothes until my eyes met with the dry cleaned dresses I haven't touched since our last gala.

I searched through them until I found a white knee length, off the shoulder dress. It was less my style, but suitable for the event. I pulled it off the rack, draped it over my arm, and paired a sheer black wrap with it. Good enough. Stripping down to nothing to change my underwear to a more matching set, I pull on a black lace thong with the matching bralette. My stockings, dress, and wrap seemed to pull on with much ease - no wonder women wear dresses. I toed on my heels, turning myself towards the mirror.

I released my hair from its rat tail of a bun - which, somehow, released into soft waves. _I need to cut my hair._ I thought, my fingers combing through my hair, bent over as I figured my hair out some. Feeling Jacob's hand smooth over my ass, I rolled my eyes, standing upright though it was pointless as he pulled me into his arms, my back was pressed against his chest.

"You look beautiful," He murmurs to me, his fingers pulling my hair back as he kissed along my neck.

"And we," Turning in his arms, I place my hands on his chest. "Have places to be."

He snickers, kissing my forehead before pulling back. "Our ride should be here any moment."

I nod as we walk out of the closet. I glance around the room, grabbing my purse and phone before meeting Jacob outside to get into our Uber. He always tended to get a ride for our parties, though I hardly drank. Despite having brand new cars ourselves, he wanted to arrive in _style_.

An all white Range Rover pulled into our driveway, the glistening chrome rims caught my eyes - but automatically made me roll them as I punched Jake in his shoulder. He laughs, opening the back door once the car was stopped, offering for me to get into the vehicle first. The driver greeted us with a simple hello, a gesture to the radio, candy along a bin, and cloth curtain in case we requested privacy.

"Thank you," Jake sternly spoke, that deep 'professional' voice he used with everyone but myself. His arm wrapped around my shoulders, pulling the curtain over as he nuzzled my neck. Stifling a giggle, I push him away some to see his face. His dark eyes were hungry. For me. As pitiful as it seemed, I shared the same aching in my stomach - actually, a little further down.

"You were saying we have _somewhere_ to be?" He murmurs to me.

"I guess not for a few hours..." Trailing off, I deeply sunk my view into those deeply-hooded brown orbs, allowing my hands to free from his collar to slowly graze up his neck to his cheeks. The car had a fresh 'new car' smell, however Jacob's thick cologne filled my nostrils with ease, the soft smell of his must and shaving cream became more predominant as he inched closer to my face.

His nose began to smooth across my own, his warm breath breathed against my agaped lips, the soft taste of minty mouthwash was tangible through just this. The soft, tender lips belonging to my husband pressed against mine. His actions moved more slowly now, his hands hitching up my dress as he pushed me down onto the leather seating. His breathing quickened noticeably, but trying to remain it somewhat low in consideration of the driver. My eyes flicker towards the volume control remote, which I scramble to reach for, filling the car with the steady beat of a rock song.

Trying to maintain the perfection of his suit, I placed my hands on his chest to delay any crinkling of his clothes - but knew that would be unpreventable by the way Jacob's actions read. Despite our mouths being broken momentarily, his lips came right back down to mine, the seconds lost seemingly nothing. His muscular figure pressed between my body, his hands pushing my legs to the side as he twisted my hips, while trying to keep my face in his view.

He rose to his knees, the sound of his zipper was an announcement of his erection. Which, was bulging through his slacks. He bent down, not reaching for his erection as I felt his fingers begin to pull down my stockings and pulling aside my thong. I could feel his fingers run between the wetness of my folds - _oops._ I could feel Jacob's smile, though I couldn't tear my eyes away from his fingers as they slid up and on over my pulsating entrance.

His strong hands placed themselves on my thighs, watching as he crept down to kiss and nibble along the skin around my pussy. I bit my lip with a small whine escaping my lips, urging him on to me. I could feel an airy chuckle from his lips along my folds. His tongue slipped up my folds to my clit, which he sweetly kissed and licked, as his fingers pumped me deeply, preparing me for his erection. My eyes rolled back, clenching to the edge of the seat while my other hand tangled within his hair. Despite me being laid sideways, he knew my needs even from this angle.

Retreating, our eyes met with a matching aura of lust. My fingers reach for his hardened cock through the fabric of his boxers, stroking as best as I could with my thumb. _Too far,_ I thought, in which Jacob so easily responded without having to hear the words. Folding down his waistband, he exposed his length to me. My hand went to reach, but instead he guided my hand to my entrance, hinting to hold open my folds for him.

Slowly, I could feel him gliding into the depth of my entrance. He arched over my body, reaching to kiss me as he thrusted into me. I moaned into our heated kiss, his moist lips shaping against my own. I could feel his cock throbbing against my walls, clenching around him sparingly to meet each thrust.

"Oh- _Jake,_" I cry out, but am quickly hushed by the presence of Jacob's lips. My eyes flutter with anticipation with each rock of his thrust. Shushing me, I allowed my lips to quiver against him.

"You like this don't you?" He murmured. urging me on as his pace began to quicken. _Dammit, Jacob_ I thought to myself. He always made me feel like a pool of emotion, just lost and swimming endlessly. And of course, we had to have an audience. I nod to his words, my yearning orgasm trailing slowly but surely behind. Our lips fell apart, his jaw twitching as he stared down at me. I could see the small beads of sweat struggling to stay still along the lines of his forehead, the power he knew he held as he _fucked_ me.

"Ba-_by,_" He groans to me, his face buried into my covered breast. I could feel his hand grasp my ass, using this as leverage as he pulled himself upright. I watched his eyes focus on his cock meeting with my vagina, feeling my entrance's walls shake against him; oh I was due any moment now. His nails dug into my ass, but then releasing and coming down with a hard _slap_, before grasping down once more. His other hand felt up my thighs and rubbed my side. I could hear him whisper words of how he loved me, how he _fucking_ loved my tightness. I whimper out loud once more, my toes curling as I could feel my clit swell.

"That's it, babygirl." He hissed through his teeth, his pace slowing some but still holding the same vigorous thrust. One hand reached between my legs, his thumb circling around my clit as he kissed my collar bone wetly. Then, it came, unraveling around him as I withheld a loud moan. I could feel his abdomen flex against me as he came to his own climax, pouring his cum into me. I exhaled as if I hadn't breathed this entire time, my hands reaching for his head, stroking and twisting my fingers into his hair.

He pulled from me, tucking his wet cock back into the sheath of his boxer briefs. He pulled my hips down, fixing my underwear and stockings for me, pulling down my dress as we sat back up, snuggling against his chest as I attempted to smooth his slacks and white shirt. With no prevail, I smack my lips.

"Well, looks like you're accepting that award with the 'I just got fucked' look - if anyone asks." I tease.

Jake snickers, "So you're saying I'm winning?"

"You're the only man I can think of that's suitable enough for that award."

The rest of the ride was filled with Jacob's practice acceptance speeches, jokes, and that if he wins, he demands I be swigging a few shots in his honor. I laughed, each memory of our drunken nights parading in my head. I had a few good tales to tell. As the vehicle came to a stop, the large lights presenting 'FREMONT STUDIOS' exclaimed our arrival to the venue. Our door swung upon, a member of the valet wearing a pristine tux with a plastered smile.

"Welcome to Fremont Studios; I presume you're attending the Seattle Business Gala?"

Jacob nods, exiting the car then extending his hand out to help me down. He turns quickly, knocking on the passenger window of the car. The window rolls down, and from no apparent reason, he slides a green crisp bill to the driver. I cock a brow as he joins back to my side.

"For dealing with us." He whispers in my ear, with a mild blush following up with the obvious intention. He laughs, pulling his arm around my waist and chauffeuring me into the building. The venue was lit off with lights over the ceiling, sheer drapes hanging to only enhance the lighting of the room. There were _tons_ of people, each walking around to the bar high tables for hor d'oeuvres, drinks, and the assortment of fruit. Jacob signed our names along a guest book, greeted a few people along the main hallway, and eventually tugged me to meet someone.

"Bella, this is Nathaniel. He's my business partner, the one from Portland?"

"Oh! Hi!" I exclaim, reaching my hand out for a shake. Nathaniel smiled, his blue eyes sparkling with anticipation as he clasped my hand with both of his own. He was a fair skinned guy, a bit taller than Jacob. He had freckles that seemed splattered across his cheeks, a soft brownness to his slicked back hair.

"Nice to finally meet you." I urge a smile, pulling back from his grasp as I glance to Jacob.

"You can go ahead love, how about you grab a snack?" Jake offered, pointing in the direction of the line of food and bar. I bit my lip, shuffling some. This place was _huge_, and the amount of people I didn't know just settled an uncanny anxiety. Jacob patted my shoulder in reassurance, but also pushed me gently towards the direction he pointed to.

I stroll amongst the guests, taking in their appearances. Each was beautiful, dressed with a pristine sophistication that I was unmatched to, and holding a never ending dollar sign in their eyes. I couldn't tell if the eyes on me were because I was unlike them, I had 'sex hair', or if somehow, I caught their attention. My fingers graze over the cool granite top of the bar, waiting for the bartender to find me for a drink.

He enjoyed mingling, speaking to _everyone_ and allowing me to walk around. It was amazing, sure. But, this wasn't for me no matter how hard he had tried. The bartender came forward, placing her hands on the counter top, informing me of their drink choices and any specials. "Cranberry vodka," I mumble as I stare out the long windows, showing downtown Fremont in all its' glory. Seattle was beautiful, busy but stunning in its own way. As the clink of the glass in front of me drew me back into the venue.

I turned back towards my husband, searching for his head among the crowd and finally, reaching his eyes that weren't not on me. He spoke to a group of men, a smile and laughter to his voice. This was what he was made to be, social and loved. So loved. I smiled in return to his own happiness, reaching for my drink and taking small sips. The room filled with band music, a soft rock tempo replacing the barely noticeable instrumental. Room cleared the dance floor for dancing, but as I searched for my husband, I couldn't find him.

Jake had taught me how to dance, some. It made it moderately more enjoyable. I could feel his hand on my waist and the other twisted in my fingers. The way he spun me, soft kisses with each perfect step and bend. But, he was nowhere to be found. I turn back to the bar, twirling my drink in my fingers. Watching as it rotated, the small bubbles flattening over as I eased it back onto the counter.

"And tell me, why is your husband allowing you to be alone at a bar full of men eager for young women?"

My head flicked in the direction of the voice, greeted with the soft crooked smile of Edward. I instantly went for his eyes, but - was only greeted with a strange, off-color hazel. I scoff, shifting my attention back to my drink, which I downed. _Gonna need it now._ Why was he here, bothering me? This had to be a dream of some sort. Or, was he following me? I could hear him chuckle, before flagging down the bartender who almost immediately pulled herself towards Edward.

Her eyes stared at Edward as if he were water in a desert. "What can I get you, _dear?"_

"Bourbon, and a _vodka cranberry_-" He scolds, reaching into his pocket and revealing his wallet. "-for her please." A silver credit card slips into his fingers, which he passes to the girl. I roll my eyes, shaking my head as I lower my eyes back to my drink. Who was this person? So...cocky and arrogant. Was this the same man I had known?

"Well, it seems to come full circle." He murmurs, thanking the bartender as she returns his card, and two drinks. I glance towards the drink in front of me, trying to keep my eyes on the purple liquid.

"What are you talking about?"

"I worked _immensely_ hard to ignore you. But here you are, doing exactly as I expected but... not what I wanted."

"Well, I have a reason. You don't."

He didn't respond.

"Why are you here?" I ask, sipping my drink as I continue to stare ahead. I see his lip twitch, inducing a small dimple to his right cheek. The man could melt me with the right look.

"Personal business."

I scoff, rolling my eyes, I sip my drink. "Secretive as ever."

"You're awfully bitter for someone who pretends their life is perfect." Belligerent, his voice spat to me. Turning my eyes to him, I could see his dark, burgundy eyes fixated on me. He was taunting me, like I was in some sort of game I just lost. I grind my teeth and look back towards the wall of liqueurs, in some disbelief and shame for even looking in his direction. The man was playing me, like a coy cat chasing the mouse. Foolish, and rarely won.

"Do the personal reasons include you harassing me?"

"Not sure, just yet."

I turn my head to him, furrowing my eyes as my lip curls in disgust. "Excuse me?"

He snickers. "Don't flatter yourself just yet, Mrs. Black." Edward winks, tapping the rim of the glass of his bourbon. A pitiful attempt to mingle amongst a crowd of humans, but everyone always seemed to fall for it. You don't stop something that works. I try to rip my mind from him, but like an odd addiction, my eyes always come back to him.

As my eyes flicker to his face, I found a different man. His jaw seemed stiff in place, locked with his dark eyes as they peered aimlessly forward. His held an odd sense of concentration, listening for something that I could not. The soft _ting_ noise with each tap of his finely groomed nails to the glass - god, did I want to knock it from beneath him. How could a mean so pale, appear pale and somehow worrisome? I was confused, delayed in my reaction as I inspected his body language that reeked of fear.

"Do you think you could do me a favor?" His sealed lips parted, breaking part of his words and his eyes meeting me with the ending of his sentence. While trying to maintain some dignity, he pieced together this makeshift view of his "strong" appearance. I laughed.

"Like hell."

He scoffs, but leans in, the sweet fragrance of lavender filling my smell as I curl my spine back. "Stay here, as much as you think you're tough shit - it isn't time to joke."

Edward adruptly stands, the screeching of his stool as it scrapes along the marble floor echoing amongst the crowd, but no one turns a head. He only existed to me in this crowd. No more lingering eyes, how had it been in Forks. In this city, we were two people - nothing more. I could feel the breath empty from my lungs, my heart skipping a beat as I watched him walk away. For a moment, I wondered if he had felt it too. But, Edward never turned or signaled.

I felt pathetic sitting here with an agape mouth as I stared endlessly into his direction as he disappeared. Edward was no more than this unfillable pit of desire. A drug, addicting but ever so toxic. I was no longer a 17 year old girl that fell in love with him, yet his familiar face pulled her from the deepest parts of me. Challenging every part that I grew into and somehow, he knew this. As he turned right down a hall I could not see, I felt my feet stumbling to follow.

The room fell dark as the ceremony began, a man in a white tux presenting himself to the stage. Jake would be looking for me soon. I looked around the room, searching for him but never finding him. I was certain he'd think nothing of it, so quickly I followed Edward's empty footsteps. Searching for him within the walls of this large building.

I was quick to find a cracked emergency door, with a bent lock that only someone with tools - or the strength - to break. I encouraged myself to follow through the door, but hesitated as I heard a small murmur of voices from the other side. Peering my eyes through the viewable crack, Edward's back appeared. His blazer was gone, adrape over his shoulder as he faced two… children? I could see the outline of his right arm as it seemingly tensed with a fist. I could hear one of the children laugh.

"Aro was right about you, so easily swayed without us around…" The girl smiles, her devilish eyes staring at Edward tauntingly. Despite her childish features, I coiled away in fear, uncertain of her or the other child, a boy.

"Not swayed, Jane, just doing a friend a favor."

"The Volturi does no favors." She hisses, and suddenly - Edward is lifted from the ground, with the only noise being his muffled groans erupting from his throat. His blazer, falling to the floor as his arms seemingly appear pinned back in thin air. For a man so capable of defending himself, he was now so… weak.

I stepped back, not needing to see Edward become abused in front of my eyes. Falling backwards, I can feel the door slip away from my fingers and, tantalizing, it creaks and groans as it scrapes across the broken lock. _Shit_.

"You bought a friend?"

I could hear Edward's body hit the ground, an abrupt groan releasing from his chest. "Leave her _alone._"

It was those three words that stopped me, freezing me dead in the half crawling-half fetal position on the floor. There was a complication burning in my chest that demanded I needed to go back. I made that face of disbelief before yanking myself off the ground then swinging open the door - so that three sets red eyes fixated on me.


	5. Chapter 5: Hallow Words, Hidden Desires

_A/N: Whoopsies. Sorta dropped off the planet; sorry guys. Enjoy this chapter, and hopefully I can manage another soon. I have also just updated my story "Evocative Whispers", a twilight AU in Edward's POV with another love interest. If you think you'd like that, feel free to give it a peek!_

_-Red_

Chapter 5

Hallow Words, Hidden Desires

"_Forbidden things have a secret charm"_

― _Tacitus_

Time stood still around me. Each nerve a live wire as I realized my mistake in Edward's dark eyes - this was bad. He flung from the ground up, appearing in front of me with a crouched stance in front of me. A blush brushed over my cheeks, a shuddered breath escaping me as I watched Edward's hand clench beside him. What was happening? I brought my eyes back to the young girl with the red eyes. Her head was cocked in our direction, a sly smirk curling over her thin pink lips. Though I stared into the red eyes, I found nothing but a deep evil. It made my heart flutter, scared, telling me to take flight but I only stayed grounded behind the man I voluntarily allowed to grasp hold on this situation. .

"Leave her out of this, Jane. Aro won't be happy if you piss me off." Edward's low voice was practically a snarl, standing more so upright now as he pressed his hand to my stomach. For a moment, I thought of pulling away. But, decided that going with whatever Edward was doing would be better safe than sorry. I lean into his hand, which he curls around my waist to pull me more behind him.

"If she's the reason you've come here - Aro will be quick to rid of her, Edward." The boy finally spoke, his sinister eyes watching me peek from just over Edward's shoulder. I could feel Edward heave at the words, as if they were true as he spoke of them with too much truth. I tried not to think of his reaction too much, as my head spun for answers that I didn't want. For _me_? After all these years, why would he return now?

"Hmm. Well I see we can't convince much of you now.. Just remember, _Aro_ is expecting you. You have a week. Make up your mind."

"Fine."

But, just as I was starting to relax for the sake of their leave - a heavy set of footsteps begins to descend down the nearby hall. Edward's head moves in the direction, and I wondered if I actually heard him curse under his breath. Then, the terrifyingly-familiar ripping sound as it boomed out of the doors. My husband. He jumped in front of Edward and I, glaring his eyes toward the two children in black. Jacob's russet brown fur was noticeably silky as it hung from the seams of his large shape, and his _huge_ size blocked most of my view of the children before us. As if animals in arenas, I hear the three exchange growls, as Edward only seems to move me backwards, my eyes peeking over his tall shoulder as much as I could.

The young girl, Jane, laughs, and I can't help but scream.

I listen to Jacob's clear pain, his howling whines cause complete agony to my chest. Going to move around Edward, his hands lock around my hips behind him, forcing me unable to move to my withering husband. I began to beat onto Edward's back, demanding that he let me go. I knew I would regret the beating on his stone body later on. I feel his hands release me after several minutes, letting me flee to my trembling husband in the center between us and them. But, upon realization, the children were not where to be spotted. Looking back down to Jacob, I see that he had phased back to his human form. Jacob's brown orbs met my own, his shaking hands meeting mine as I hovered over him. His body was broken in sweat, perhaps shock from whatever trauma _Jane_ had caused. I look up to the statue behind me, the one that seemingly always knew more than I did. Edward's eyes seem broken, though I couldn't tell from his face alone. He read blankly, a plain faced statue with unwavering emotions. It made my heart weep, and I knew my own eyes were wide with the deeply pitted emotion. _What was wrong?_

But, before I could ask, he came to life, blinking as he crouched down to me. "I'll take him to my car. You go to the front of the building, I'll meet you there."

I tried to argue, thinking to stay with my husband but I knew Edward was the only one of us capable of carrying him. I stood quickly to my feet, swallowing down the pride that lumped in my throat. What had happened? Who were they? Why didn't she attack me the same way she had Edward or Jacob? I felt my body combust into millions of senseless emotions, my eyes tearing up as I broke through into the hallway. What had I gotten us into? My dawning of Jacob's reward made me frown, knowing now he couldn't accept it all because _I _got him into this nonsense.

"Bella?"

Suddenly my arm was entrapped into the grasps of someone's warm hand. My eyes flew down to the hand, then to the face. Nathaniel. His light eyes narrowed in confusion.

"Nathaniel - Hi."

"Where's Jake? He's going to miss the acceptance…"

"I'm actually not sure, I was just going to look for him." I lie. I was better at this than I had been growing up. My brown eyes no longer held fear or misjudgement. Jacob taught me that lying was sometimes better than the truth. I wondered how many times he had used the same trick onto me. I shift away from Nathaniel's hand and give him a nod. "I, uh, have to continue looking for him. I'll see you, Nathaniel."

I broke away into the crowd, seamlessly disappearing without a trace. The only thing I could hear was the pounding of blood against my ears. It was like I was invisible. Stumbling out the door, I search for Edward, whose face appears behind a black Volvo windshield. I sighed in relief. Once in the car, Edward turns directly out, devoid of the lane's guidance and gets us on the main street. I forgot about his driving. Erratic and speedy. Dangerous.

"_Edward_," I hiss aloud, his burgundy eyes meeting mine from the road. "Slow down, for god sake."

Edward teasingly hits the brake, but keeps his speed. _Asshole._ I thought, rolling my eyes as I looked ahead. How did no one beep or care? Hell, does he ever get a speeding ticket? I rub my face, my thumbs leading up till my temples before pressing down. _Chaos_, I told myself. That's what he was, and always has been. But, as I heard a soft groan relish from my husband's lips behind me, I held back any complaints. Jacob could… I didn't dare think of the thought. I couldn't lose him, not after everything. Not now.

Looking at Edward, his amber eyes come back to me. Our gaze locks for just a moment, but my blush was always too quick to give me away - and him too. I watch as his lips curl back against his teeth, swallowing down - _oh_, venom. It was the one thing I was sure that didn't help this already uncomfortable car ride, the smell of my blood. As I thought about the beginning of our ex relationship, I remembered his gentle touch. His caressful, icy kisses and soft fondling. My heart skips a beat, and the clenching of his fingers around the wheel only seem to confirm that he noticed my demeanor. From cold to… Whatever this was. _Was he always this bipolar? Surely…_ I turn to glance over my shoulder, looking at Jacob laid in the backseat.

"You should sleep." Edward says, looking to the rearview mirror before back to the road, but never making contact with me.

"I don't need sleep-" But, I'm defeated by myself as a single yawn escapes my mouth. Edward chuckles and I meet him with a pout and scoff, turning to look out the window.

"I'll wake you up if he does."

"I never asked." I utter, looking at him. "Nor did I say I was going to sleep."

"You know, I'm _trying_ to be nice, Bella."

Hearing my name uttered from those familiar pink lips, I feel my heart throb some as I turn to glance at him. There was always a strange allure, adoration I had easily been consumed by as I viewed over his forever pristine complexion. He was _exactly_ how I remembered him, except for the eyes. And… him. He changed. Edward wasn't the same man that I knew all of those years ago, and I surely wasn't the same woman. Older. Always growing old while he stayed beautiful. He would be around long after I was gone, and there would eventually be someone else he'd love. Then, a thought I hadn't considered before; _maybe he already had someone else?_ Amid my thoughts, my eyes began to fall into a slumber. And, Edward so easily infested my dreams - my self conscious refusing to argue at this point.

Awakening in the long driveway that belonged to the Cullen's, its grand white structure always bringing a look of awe over my face. I must have needed rest _that_ bad? I hear Edward chuckle beside me, but I don't bother to look at him until he appears in the window I had been staring out of. _Ugh!_ I gasp some, smacking the window before he opens the door and gestures for me to step down. Had I really just slept for over four hours? I was sure he began speeding the second I drifted off. But, I didn't care to question it enough as my head turned to my husband in the backseat.

_Jacob!_

Edward swung open the backseat car door and very cautiously began to pick up Jacob from the seat, bringing his body into a stiff cradle as if he was being cautious. Could his injuries be that bad, or was it the smell? I briefly remembered Jacob's complaints of the stench of vampires, and could only imagine that they shared the same revolted sense. Following Edward as he carries my husband into the grand front door, he calls for Carlisle as we begin up to the second floor. Once we turn the bend of stairs, Carlisle and Esme are standing at the top of the steps. They both raised their eyes to Edward, whose lips moved too fast for my human eyes to grasp what he was liping to them.

Carlisle looks to Jacob, then me with a smile that I couldn't place its meaning behind, before turning and beginning down the hall. Edward is faster, though, disappearing from my vision as I see the door down the hall whip open. I wasn't quite used to it as I used to be, feeling the flurry of wind breeze past my side sends me in a dizzy spell for a moment. As I gather myself, I feel a small hand cup my shoulder.

"Are you alright dear? Edward tends to lose himself at times." Esme's hushed voice says to me, her topaz eyes coming into my view as I look up from my stare at the floor.

"Yes, I'll be alright."

I try to promise those words not only to her, but to myself. Knowing that without them I would be a shambled, confused mess stumbling down the hall. Proceeding behind Carlisle and Edward, I enter what would be Carlisle's study. I had faint memories of being here, but it has been years. I noted the subtle changes in style and color, but the amass of books and piles of paintings were scattered about the room. It was the most used space in the house, at least to my view, compared to the rest of the home that stayed in its' perfect, catalog state. Then, my eyes fell to the three men; Edward and Carlisle each standing to Jacob's side, who was laying still to an operating table that I didn't recognize from memory.

"This'll put him out for a couple of hours, and help with the pain." Carlisle murmurs to Edward's watchful eyes as I watch his hands put a needle to Jacob's arm. What the hell were they giving him? I walk forward, putting my arm out in front of Carlisle before he presses the needle to his skin.

"What is that?" I demand, looking up to Carlisle as I hear Edward huff from behind me. Carlisle's gaze shifts from a narrowed view in Edward's direction before looking to me, offering a small and reassuring smile.

"It's only morphine. With his body temperature, he'll burn it quickly without large doses. Jacob should be alright, Jane's gift is only illusionary - but the pain he's feeling is too real."

Carlisle was a usually attentive person, it was the physician side of him I was sure. But, here I was, acting as if he was injecting _venom_ into my husband's igneous veins. Edward's new personality was the only thing that had changed among any of them, and I was too quick to judge. I drop my hand to my side, nodding as I grant Carlisle permission to carry on with the morphine. Jacob would need it, a lot of it, but it would more than likely be enough to numb whatever pain that girl - Jane - had caused. Watching my husband go from a broken sweat and slight tremors to a much more relaxed state, I cut in front of Edward and brought my hand to Jacob's face.

My thumb strokes over Jacob's moist brow, sighing in frustration. Why did I always get him into the worst situations? He hadn't deserved this, surely. Stepping back, I feel the cold hands from behind me steady my hips as I step to Edward's foot, but is quick to release me. I fight the blush from appearing my cheeks, but instead look to Carlisle instead of the towering statue behind me.

"He'll be out for a couple of hours, his body will need to rest." Carlisle tells me, retrieving a nod in understanding before I slowly walk away to a nearby arm chair. A separated sigh releases from my lips, bringing my hands to my face as I try to wrap my head around what was going on. Those… Vampires were a part of whatever that coven Edward in now, the Volt-_something_. The Volturi. The royalty of their kind. Of course he could so easily become them. Then, the girl - she did _whatever_ she did to Jacob.

"How did she do that to Jacob, that girl?"

"Jane," Edward states the girl's name as he came to the couch beside me. His eyes shifted to Carlisle, and from their gaze it could appear as if a silent conversation ensues. "She… has the ability to put an illusionary pain in the mind."

"Why didn't she do it to me, then?"

"She tried to." Edward croaks some, his burgundy eyes meeting mine before shifting away to the floor. Edward's eyes showed he was burrowed in some deep thought but, his words never seemed to match the look in his eyes. Carlisle came beside Edward, who's reddish eyebrows tied into a knot over whatever concealed thoughts that had been shared. Though his gaze fell from me, they always came back.

"A shield isn't too far off of a guess, I'm sure if we called Elezear…" Edward mumbles some, shaking his head in disbelief. His nose scrunched, and his lips pursed as he made sense of his own words. _A shield? _I thought, confused.

"What's a shield?" I ask, looking in between the two vampires in front of me.

"The reason I can't read your mind. It's a mentally developed one, which is why Jane nor I can intercept it."

I remembered the first time he had told me he couldn't read my mind. A different radio frequency, and how my comment of being a freak was rather _stupid_ considering he was the freak of nature amongst humans. Did the man who had met me that frigid night in Port Angelas still existed beneath those dark eyes and cold demeanor? That, those topaz eyes would be able to find their way back into my gaze without the lost tension. His young eyes forever encompassed their youthfulness as they watched me grew, and I wondered what he thought of me now. My eyes come to my husband across the room, envisioning his scene from earlier with an awkward emotion sweeping over me. It was wrong of me to think of Edward as this sort of savior, knowing that he probably only did this to save his own ass. But, he was intoxicating as we were _toxic._ I rose to my feet again now, approaching my still husband's bed side. Jacob wasn't the same boy he had been when I first met him all those years ago. He had grown with me, _loved_ me.

His brown eyes startle me, as I gasp and squeeze his warm fingers with a quick smile. "Jake!" I was relieved, bringing my free hand to caress the sweat of his cheek, trying to wipe it away the best I could. Jacob pants softly, as if waking up had been an exercise but had won the marathon, a smile sweeping to his russel lips.

"Hey Bells," Jacob croaks to me, our fingers squeezing together. His warmth was radiational, transferring from each end of my body within seconds. I watch as his eyes fixate around him, before flashing in anger as I figured he had found the two vampires behind me. I bring a hand to his chest, pinning him to the bed as much as I could, as to avoid any immediate freak outs. When his eyes came back to me, it was clear he hadn't much memory of the trip here, or if at all. Since the Cullen's left long ago, the only thing that kept Jacob's wolf blood alive was the occasional passer-by, or 'nomad' as the Cullen's had once called them. But, that being said, Jacob never dealt with vampires enough to know them as _I_ did. Secretive, quick, and usually deceptive.

"What's going on?"

"You were hurt." I explained to him, keeping my hand to his chest and cheek as I tried to calm his quickening heartbeat I could feel against my palm. So much for the morphine sedating him. "You had found me in the alley with Edward. Wrong place, wrong time sorta thing…"

"I bet _he_ was looking for a snack." Jake sneered, his vicious glare darting to - I was sure - Edward behind me.

"Edward has been hunting animals while staying with us, Jacob, I can rest you assured." Carlisle's voice enters the conversation, and my eyes flicker behind me to the two men. Carlisle's face was stern, but inviting - defending his son. Edward's eyes, though, were locked onto mine, and to stay devoid of any blushing my eyes duck to Jacob below me. He rolls his eyes, laying his head back as he 'tsks' his lips and shakes his head in disbelief.

"I _told you_ he's nothing but trouble."

I said nothing in reply.

Carlisle places his cold hand on my shoulder as he properly greets Jacob before continuing on what had happened in more 'supernatural' terms.

"Hold on - What the _hell_ is the Volturi?"

"Vampire royalty, in human terms." Carlisle states. He had positioned himself to lean at the front of a mahogany desk that sat near a corner of the room. "They uphold a 'law' over our kind. Preserves our 'species'. Edward joined their ranks several years ago, under the presumption that Bella was dead."

"That I was _what_?" I whip my head around to look behind me, away from Jacob and Carlisle to Edward. He was deadpaning to Carlisle, but a snap of my fingers makes Edward's eyes come to me with a frown. The only death I had suffered was the moment he had left me. The months of agony, before Jacob. "What is he talking about?" I asked him, my voice lowered to a whisper as I watched over his beautiful face, topaz eyes shimmering with the same uncertainty I felt.

"A few months after I left, Alice had a vision of you jumping from a cliff. She couldn't see anything of your future after that."

He thought I was dead.

"I…" Edward pauses, bringing his eyes to mine directly. "I could barely live with the idea of you having to suffer anymore. Even in the afterlife I feared I caused you chaos... So, when I went to the Volturi, they refused to strike me down. But, they offered to sever my connections - in exchange that I join them."

A flicker of a memory occurred to me, just after Phoenix. He spoke of the pale faces that hung from the walls of Carlisle's study; the Volturi. It would be the only time he had said anything of them. Edward, then, had told me his plans. His plans of suicide, asking them for _help_. Had that been what he had done? Begged for them to take his life, to end him?

I had jumped that cliff only a few months after he was gone.

Withholding my reaction, my eyes bore over Edward's face, forgetting of the other two in the room. _He _had burned the bridge connecting him and I - but I could still painfully remember it. It's stone structure had once been strong, dignified. Now it was the ruins in between an overgrowth of trees. How even I could even then I met him in the middle of the valley, through the rubble, was confusing to me. Was it true? And if it was, did it matter? I hadn't considered the smaller inconsistencies. The smaller details of his adoration for me when I had always known he felt the same. But, Edward had left me all of those years ago.

"When did you know I was alive?" My voice breaks through my next thought, Edward's eyes still to mine; taken aback by my ease of questioning.

"Alice saw you in a vision with your mother, in Florida. Picking out a wedding dress." His words end abruptly, as if he didn't want to finish the sentence.

_Why didn't you come back then?_ Would I have taken him back then? My mind spun with confusion and delusion, lost once again at what any of this meant. I could hear Jacob talking, Edward's burgundy eyes leaving mine to look to the man behind me. But the scene merely unfolded beyond me; drifting away from their words as they spoke about the more serious issues with the Volturi. But, it isn't until my name returns to the topic do I feel the compel to come back to the simmer of voices. My husband's and the man from my sweetest dreams and darkest nightmares cooked over me. Braising my skin with the live wire my nerves had never felt till now. _Say nothing, and figure this all out later under some calm,_ I try to encourage myself.

"They're expecting Bella to be _dead?_" Jacob's words hit me like a truck, I the stranded and confused passenger wandering into the four lanes. I gasp, seeing Edward's bronze hair whip up some in response - as if concerned for the sudden noise from me. I often forgot I wasn't easy for him; not at all, in fact. "Bells?" Jacob spoke softer now, urging for my attention.

I blink, looking first in front of me to the statue situated in front of me, then my husband behind my shoulder. "I'm fine, I just… Didn't expect to hear my name." I lie, rubbing my face in frustration.

Edward says, "You're _still_ a terrible liar, Bella."

"And your still _very nosey._" I whip back, my head tossing a look to him with narrowed brows. Edward only chortles, scoffing in some disbelief.

"If I was the nosey one, we'd be in a very different situation. Unfortunately, the only person who followed _me_, was you."

I grimace, darting my eyes away, not expecting Edward's words to be so blunt. Brutal honesty I expected from Jake, but I kept forgetting that Edward was not the same man I had met as a girl and that his personality was hardly equivalent to the man in my memory.

Carlisle had been the one to eventually escort me from the room, under some notion of getting me something to eat but I knew he wanted to give the men privacy. That whatever they were talking about, was better if I went unheard of it for now. It was strange how their home hadn't changed at all; my memory not remembering it perfectly, but most of the items and parts of the home were untouched. It was a perfect fragrant for my memory that begged to remember back then. It had been exactly how Edward had predicted it would be; I'd eventually forget. And, he would not. Was this his way of forgetting? To make me feel further than just arms length, pretending that there were no lost memories was better to acknowledge them? His change of behavior was erratic, a man I would have never loved had he been this way in the beginning.

Esme was in the kitchen when Carlisle and I came in, her warm smile had never changed. The sound of the plate she pushed forward distracted me from realizing Carlisle had left my side, the following click of the door being the cue that he had returned with Edward and Jacob. I sigh; I hated not being the loop. Being outside of the inner circle that I'd never reach, because I didn't carry the same secrets as they did. I, was just a human. Always just a human.

"He's changed." I spoke softly, my eyes dropping from Esme's golden ones to the plate she had pushed forth to me. Esme ought to be honest with me, at least enough for me to try and grasp what had happened. What _I _had done so that I could make sense of Edward's erratic behavior.

Maybe I was the human losing her mind.

"Edward… Has been through a lot over the past few years." Esme's voice was somber; dripping with regret. I wondered if she felt that her son's actions were her fault, if they all felt that same guilt that I held. Did we all feel that we played a part in the breakage of who he was before? Or, maybe, it was solely my fault as I fretted. That the damage done to Edward was not as easily stated as a broken heart. But, he had left me behind - so why was he the one acting with the cold shoulder?

"Did… Did something happen? Was it... Something I did?"

Esme's eyes came to me with a newfound look in her eyes; though it was masked quicker than I could register and process the entirety of the reaction. I could only remember Edward's words from all of those years ago; repeating endlessly over and over.

"_You're not good for me, Bella."_

_"I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed."_

"I believe that's an issue that you and Edward should discuss." She spoke to me so kindly. So motherly that even Renee hadn't stood a chance against the connection Esme practically emitted. But her words hold resilience to what needed to happen; knowing that she wouldn't break her vow of silence to her son - the very same concern but sternness in her eyes as when Carlisle spoke of Edward. They had both held so much faith in him - how had he become this?

"It isn't that simple, Esme." I whispered, my heart broken to the realization that it was never that simple. It never was with Edward.

Her golden eyes match her frown, "I know."

**_-o-_**

Hours pass before I finally am allowed to return back to my husband, who was now in the hallway outside of Carlisle's study. He was walking, talking, _alive. _My heart was relieved, grateful that the healing rate of shifters and the help from Carlisle had proved to be good. My feet begin to move, heading to my husband until I watch Edward slip out of the room behind Jacob. Neither of them had noticed me yet,

"They won't touch her. I'll be sure to work with the pack on new patrols in the meantime… We'll work on the specifications of trade-offs later." Jacob says to Edward, taking a step away from the shorter, scrawnier boy. Jacob, though aware of Edward's true possibilities of strength, was a leader over him; an alpha.

Edward replies, "_Good_. She'll be safe here."

Were they speaking of me? I'll be safe here… Patrols… _Trade-offs?_ My feet finally moved forward, announcing myself as both men looked away from each other. Edward didn't bother with so much of a greeting or farewell as he walked past me. I decided against worrying about his attitude - it had been the reason we fell into this stupid mess. Edward _was_ right.

"What were you two talking about?" I ask Jacob, my hand reaching forward to meet his. His warm fingers interlocked with mine, a deep sigh from his chest as he took another step closer and patted my hair down sweetly.

"We've got it handled. But, in order to be sure you'll be okay… I agreed on upping patrols and keeping watch for any other vampires that might come from Seattle or, Italy - I guess. But, Edward was concerned. He told me about these… Things, these other vampires. They sound straight from a Stephen King film, Bella." Jacob rambles, shaking his head with exasperation. "So, whenever I'm on patrols, and none of the pack is available… You'll be coming here."

"Here?" I question with a breath of a voice.

"Yeah. Look, I know it sounds… Stupid-"

"You have no idea how _absurd-"_

"I _know,_ Bella. But, it's safer than involving Charlie and Sue, and safer than leaving you at home with no one."

I paused. Unsure how to respond, unsure what to think. Now, I was to be tossed between the treaty lines in hopes that I'd be spared by these vampires. Jacob's eyes showed me he knew more than he led on, but as the same with Edward earlier, I didn't push. I had already pushed so much, that now I simply existed in between the mechanisms so that things would move more smoothly without my interference. I should have interfered with this decision, though.

"_It'll be fine. Carlisle reassured me he'll be the one to keep an eye on you."_

Of course the _actual _arrangement didn't involve Edward. I sighed of relief, thankful that my husband had at least tried to make sure I was alone with Edward for longer than necessary. I couldn't tell if my thoughts were in good or bad faith. Hell, I was hardly capable of mustering the courage to speak out against this - why would I have done anything against Edward? I would have been quiet, unspoken for our visits.

Edward didn't deserve to know me, anymore. His actions and words showed me he _had_ opportunities, several yet he turned a blind eye. Even to the thought of my own suicide, he couldn't come to Forks and deal with the consequences _himself._ I wouldn't give this Edward a chance of knowing me anymore. Despite his strange kindness and hesitant answers, it didn't erase the _before_. He couldn't explain himself to me, and I was left to pick up the pieces and puzzles of Edward's fallen soul. If, there was still a soul left within him.


End file.
